Christmas Spirit

This movie is just fucking hilarious.

You Can't Fix Stupid

Mass. man melting snow with blowtorch ends up igniting home, causing $30,000 in fire damage


(NEW BEDFORD, Mass.) Fire officials in New Bedford, Mass., say a man using a blowtorch to melt ice on his back porch ended up setting his house on fire, causing up to $30,000 in damage.

Fire Capt. Scott Kruger tells The Standard-Times of New Bedford that no on was injured during Monday's incident at the three-story home.

Kruger says the man was using a torch hooked up to a 20-pound propane cylinder. He got too close to the building's wood frame and ignited the vinyl siding. The fire quickly spread into the building's second- and third-floor apartments.

It took 25 firefighters to subdue the blaze that damaged bedrooms in the upstairs units, and caused damage to the structure and wiring.

The homeowner will not be charged. (From Newsweek)

— — —

I know I have done some stupid things in my day (20 shots on new years 2005, I haven't looked at Tequila the same way since) but...is this guy serious? The guy had the blowtorch hooked up to a 20 pound propane tank? Jesus. Is it really that pressing to melt the ice on your back porch in the dead of winter? It took 20 firemen to put out the flame. I guess the silver lining is that his stupidity has landed him 30K in debt. I just think this is amazing.

Today I turn 25...

So today I turned 25 and I couldn't help but think about things that I should have done by now. So after doing a short search online I found this list on another blog (Punarjanman)

This list is supposed to be things to do before you are thirty, so I figured I have some time and maybe a little bit of a head start. So you are supposed to bold the items that you have done. I like to think I will be able to accomplish everything over the next 5 years but maybe not. Please fill yours out in the comments if you would like to.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb (does a kid goat count?)
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow (On a friend’s farm in Gujarat)
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theatre
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced (Hopefully not!!)
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on a television news program as an “expert”
83. Gotten flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents - I better not....
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Passed out cold
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a TV game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for 30 hours in a 48 hour period
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. States
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts (that’s what A does, not me)
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Update: Year in Photos

Here is the third installment from Boston.com of this year in images. (3 of 3)

Santa's Gmail - Get in the Christmas Spirit

For the visually impaired, click on the image to a larger version.

Who throws a shoe?

In response to my colleague Travis' remarks earlier, I have found the perfect game to pass a couple minutes at work on a Friday afternoon. Want to hit the prez with a shoe? Click here - Sock and Awe.

Friday Video - Baby Got Back

This bride is pretty hot, plus her willingness to do this at her wedding might make her the coolest woman on earth. I can only hope that I will be as lucky.

For my boy Diaz...

Shoe May Be Right, I May Be Crazy (But It Just Might Be A Lunatic You Elected President)

The recent President Bush shoe-throwing incident came as a shock to many, including myself. How, over the past eight years, had I not thought of this? I viewed the incident online about 64 times, mostly because I couldn’t get enough of President Bush’s blank expression after dodging the shoe, as if this occurs on a regular basis in the Oval Office. As I viewed and reviewed the video, I must admit I found my mouth agape in admiration of Mr. Muntadar al-Zaidi, Professional Shoe Thrower. Now before you go and label me a socialist, let me explain myself. I, like many other Americans, am less than thrilled with President Bush’s performance over the past eight years. And I, like many Americans, am at a loss to find a way to effectively express my displeasure. Nonviolent protests are nonviolent, voting is overrated, and I’m too self-conscious to streak. Which brings us to the shoe throw, a communicative yet relatively harmless gesture, especially when compared to the alternatives. Much like sports allow us to play out our tribal warfare instincts and showcase our distaste for the Dallas Cowboys, the shoe throw is a great way to express one’s disapproval of--and downright hatred for--a world leader. While an
assassination is sure to net you a plethora of weirdo girlfriends, it only elicits compassion for the victim, most likely gets you prison time and suddenly everyone knows your middle name. And if you fail, you’re just an also-ran with a funny middle name. But the shoe throw--ah! It’s the perfect display of disrespect for the President, short of banging his wife. We’ll get
to that later.

Still, much as I admired Mr. Muntadar al-Zaidi’s shoe throw, I see plenty of
room for improvement.

I understand that in Iraq, throwing your shoe at someone is considered the ultimate insult, because it means you consider the target of the shoe to be lower than the dirt you stepped on with said shoe. That’s all well and good, but if you threw the actual dirt that you stepped on with said shoe, wouldn’t that be an even more pointed gesture, with the added benefit that you saved a shoe? Moreover, if you’re willing to let your hand touch the shoe that stepped on the dirt before you threw the shoe, what does that say about your hand? Is your hand, for a brief moment, considered the lowest of the low, before you throw the shoe? And even when you throw the shoe, your hand is now second-lowest of the low. That’s not thinking very highly of your hand. Christ, we weren’t even talking about your hand two minutes ago. What the hell just
happened?

I don’t have a problem with someone throwing their shoe, per se. It’s always fun to see world leaders ducking out of the way of flying shoes, wake up the next day and realize it wasn’t a dream. I just don’t think it’s been thought out enough. If it were up to me, I would loosen the Velcro on my shoe, step in dog shit and slide the shoe halfway off. Then, to distract everyone from looking at my feet, I would do that trick where it looks like I’m pulling my thumb off my
hand. With the onlookers mesmerized, I then make a kicking motion towards my target so the shoe flies off my foot in that direction. Not only does this take my hand out of the equation, but I also have the added benefit of dog shit flying in every direction. So even if the shoe misses the intended target, you can be sure that she probably got some dog shit on her.

I also don’t understand why it has to stop at the shoe throwing. A great start, to be sure, but if you’re that angry, you should have a follow-up move. Just hear me out on this one. You know that gesture that Italians make, where you throw an uppercut with your right arm while your left arm comes down on your right bicep? How about you do that, only in your right hand you have a balloon? So you make the gesture (which is an insult in itself) and then release the balloon into the air. Once again, you have distracted the crowd. Assuming the crowd will be preoccupied for two to three seconds, trying to figure out what the floating object is, this gives you just enough time to unfold your homemade catapult, load an emperor penguin onto said catapult, and launch it towards the target. Only this is no ordinary emperor penguin. No, it’s an emperor penguin with the words, “Suck It, D-Bag” painted on its back with White-Out. The symbolism in this maneuver is clear as day: “I think so lowly of you, I just catapulted an emperor penguin in your direction.” It doesn’t get much lower than that.

At the end, yell, “Viva Canada!” and run like the wind. Pull this off, and the President's wife will most likely want to bang you.

Year In Photos

The link below will take you to a group of images that is being out together by www.boston.com. These images are absolutely amazing. Some are inspirational, others are appalling. Enjoy the Year in Photos. (Part 1 of 3) (Part 2 of 3)


Thanks to Benji for the link.

Be A Man

I love Russell Peters...feel free to send other links...

Do Vegetarians Eat Animal Crackers?

This is one of those questions that leads to a bunch of other questions, like 'Why do park in a driveway but drive on the parkway?' or 'At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?'.

I am not really looking for more questions like that, since you can do a simple Google search a find hundreds of them. I think it would be interesting to actually answer those types of questions with logical or not so logical answers.

Some of them I will not be able to answer on my own so I will need help. I am not a vegetarian so I do not even know how to go about figuring this one out. What is your answer?

I mean there are all kinds of different vegetarians: some chose that lifestyle because they just don't want to eat red meat (some extremists also don't eat eggs and other dairy products), others do it for animal rights, others do it because it is the trendy thing to do between the ages of 18-25. But none of these specify animal crackers. They are shaped like animals but taste like crackers which could be made from dairy products. Perhaps some vegetarians look upon this as animal cruelty? I can not think about this much more....

So, do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If anyone reading this a vegetarian and I offended them because they are only doing it to be trendy, I am not sorry. Stop conforming to what you think is cool. However, please answer the question.

Price Is Right Nostradamus

Man Guesses EXACT Price in Showcase Showdown! @ Yahoo! Video

Is this guy serious? The last time someone did this was 1972!! Was the fix in? Have the ratings for the Price is Right dropped since the great Bob Barker retired? To be honest Drew Carey didn't get all that excited. I understand the contestants reaction, I wouldn't know what to do or believe it either. But c'mon Drew, you are the host of the show, give the guy some excitement.

Funny Video of the Day

These videos will not always be new or something that is considered "viral" but I know too many people who like this video so enjoy.

Dave Matthews Band Announces Album Release and Spring Dates of the 2009 Tour!

On April 14th, Dave Matthews Band returns with its first studio album in four years – and they’ll celebrate with a show at New York City’s Madison Square Garden that evening. The MSG show will be followed by 16 additional US spring dates, including a stop at the 40th Annual New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival on April 26, 2008. Along the way, Dave Matthews Band fans will be treated to the group’s first-ever live performances of songs from the new yet-to-be titled album. Joining the group on the road this spring will be Tim Reynolds on guitar, Rashawn Ross on trumpet and Jeff Coffin on saxophone. (Via Dmband.com)

Click here for all of the tour dates.

Observations From The Eagles Game

It was a good one for "the Birds" last night, keeping the playoff hopes alive. With wins against the Redskins and the Cowboys over the next two weeks, the Eagles will hopefully still be able to make the playoffs. While the overall performance was pretty good yesterday on both sides of the ball, I am more and more finding myself wondering what the hell Andy Reid is doing once the Eagles get the ball inside the 20 yard line?

I mean seriously, the WILDCAT?? 3rd and Goal on the 6 and we are running the Florida Gators Tim Tebow play?? WTF!!! I would be happier handing the ball to Westbrook and seeing if one of the best backs in the league can score. No?

Maybe some people missed it yesterday but on Asanti Samuel's pick 6 he dropped the ball about 2 yards shy of the endzone, much like DeSean Jackson did against Dallas. Luckily the Cleveland Browns don't give a shit and didn't challenge the play, but are the Eagles serious. I had never seen that before Jackson did it, and now two people on the same team in the same year, both on Monday Night Football? If I were an Eagles coach he would be fined for being an idiot and not just running the ball through the endzone.

Kevin Kolb sucks.

Does The Christmas Tree Get A Free Pass?

In this age of political correctness and environmental concern, it's surprising that the tradition of the beloved Christmas tree has not come under more scrutiny. These days, it's not uncommon to catch grief for wasting so much as a sheet of paper, especially if it's used to print naked photos of someone else's wife. Yet nobody seems concerned about the hundreds of thousands of trees that are cut down each year to celebrate Christmas, only to be discarded a few weeks later into the neighbor's backyard.

Personally, I have nothing against the age-old tradition. In fact, this year I sprung for a Christmas tree--the first time I've had one under my roof (also the first year I've had a roof). But right or wrong, the concept of the Christmas tree strikes me as a bit strange. If you went to someone's house in the middle of August and that person had a pine tree set up in the corner of the living room, wouldn't it look out of place? On the other hand, many people have plants in their humble abodes, to nurture and love without risking the horrible rejection that has ruined every other facet of their lives. Still, this is socially acceptable, probably because the common houseplant is pretty small and keeps her mouth shut. The common tree, however, is anything but small. Let's face it: keeping a tree indoors, when you think about it, is fucking ridiculous. It's a tree. It's meant to be outside, where it lives and grows, often to great heights. You don't cut them down and put them in your house. If my girlfriend ever came home to find a tree in our bedroom, she would be confused, even if I brought it in to spice up our sex life.

Now, I know there might be a few people out there saying: "Travis, your words flow so naturally, I can't help but wonder if you're as gifted in other areas." Thank you. But there's only one of me, and for that I apologize.

A few others might be saying, "But Travis, can't you apply the same logic to other holidays? For example, if you carved a happy face into a pumpkin and put it on your front porch in April, that would seem a little out of place. Furthermore, I can go to a deli down the street and get a turkey sandwich for five bucks whenever I feel like it, so why is it so special that I get to eat turkey at Thanksgiving? Thirdly, if fireworks are dangerous enough to be illegal 364 days out of the year, why are they allowed on July 4th?"

You're a verbose prick, but I know what you mean. Dress up like a bunny on Easter and you're the toast of the town. Try that in November, transport a minor across state lines and suddenly you're a felon. Look, I don't have all the answers. I'm sure turkey was a delicacy back when the Pilgrims beat the Native Americans in a game of Rock, Paper, Syphilis. But perhaps the food should be updated. Instead of turkey, why not a slab of baby back ribs? Now there's something to be thankful for. Cranberry sauce? Mmmmmm, delicious...if you have a urinary tract infection--how about roast beef instead? And don't get me wrong, I love stuffing as much as the next person--if the next person was born without a tongue and was autistic!

(Applause)

Here's the bottom line: having a Christmas tree doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But it's a tradition, like turkey on Thanksgiving, fireworks on July 4th, and saying, "I'll pull out in time" on New Year's Eve. Traditions span generations and preserve a connection between family members who may have been born centuries apart. It may seem trivial, but then again so was your parents' decision to have you. So put a goddamn ornament on the tree.

Monday the 15th of December Genius Droppings

Genius?

A genius is a person who successfully applies a previously unknown technique in the production of a work of art, science or calculation, or who masters and personalizes a known technique. A genius typically possesses great intelligence or remarkable abilities in a specific subject, or shows an exceptional natural capacity of intellect and/or ability, especially in the production of creative and original work, something that has never been seen or evaluated previously. Traits often associated with genius include strong individuality, imagination, uniqueness, and innovative drive.

The term may be applied to someone who is considered gifted in many subjects[1] or in one subject.

Although the term "genius" is sometimes used to denote the possession of a superior talent in any field, e.g. a particular sport or statesmanship, it has traditionally been understood to denote an exceptional natural capacity of intellect and creative originality in areas of art, literature, philosophy, music, language, science and mathematics.

According to conventional wisdom, geniuses are different from everyone else. They can think faster and better than other people. In addition, many people think that all that extra brainpower leads to eccentric or quirky behavior. And although geniuses are fairly easy to spot, defining exactly what makes one person a genius is a little trickier. Figuring out how that person became a genius is harder still.

Wish I could paint like this when I was three.

Current Favorite Song - Kanye West - Heartless

Matching New York Couples

Walking through Times Square the other day, I noticed a bunch of "Matching New York Couples". What are these you ask? These are the couples dressed in all black suits walking arm in arm through the streets of New York acting like they own the place.

Now, I am not against couples walking together and having a good time, but they shouldnt be wearing the same designer suit. I am not sure if this is something that just bothers me or might bother others as well. Let me know what you think.

Thanks to Benji for the reminder...

Things I Found Out I Hate This Weekend

After a weekend of city going, sports watching, movie watching and a little bit of shopping we are all back at work. I find myself a little more tired than usual and wanting to get some things off my chest.

There is a guy drilling outside which does not make this any easier, but I do find it easier than doing actual work. Here are some things I found out I really hate with a little help from the weekend and the beginning of a new week.

1. Facebook
2. Rockefeller Center during Christmas
3. Not having college football
4. Uncertainties
5. Times Square
6. Delayed path trains
7. Facebook
8. People drilling at 8 in the morning
9. Dinner Parties
10. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"....and then don't give you a chance to refuse.

Please feel free to add your own. This made me feel a little better. I think I need to go on vacation again.

New Video Games

Since its Christmas I have been making a list of things I want people to get for me, even though I know it will never happen. This is always a time for me to pick up a couple new video games. Here is a great article about one on my list - Prince of Persia.

Comment Response

You are going to learn over time that I am a big sports fan. I am originally from Pennsylvania, so I am for the most part a PA/Philadelphia fan. I cheer for the Eagles, Phillies, Flyers, Penn State, UNC Tarheel college basketball, and Manchester United (That is soccer for those of you who don't know).

Someone just left a comment to an article on ESPN.com about Cole Hamels calling the Met's choke artists.

I just have to say I agree with him and go Phillies!!!



From the Phillies Parade!!

It's Friday

This weekend is going to bring a lot more work to the blog so we can really get it up and going. But I wanted to leave everyone with a funny video to start off your weekend.

It's A Start

So this is my first post on Zog's Point. This blog will touch on a number of subjects, but mostly be about my daily observations and things that I find interesting, funny, sad, or just bizarre. I hope you enjoy reading and please feel free to share anything you find interesting with your friends or family. Enjoy!