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Barstool Rundown - April 28, 2020
4 years ago
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Chelsea Scum
World football's governing body revealed on Thursday they would prevent the Blues from registering players for the next two transfer windows after being found guilty of inducing French teenager Gael Kakuta to breach his contract with Lens.
The 18-year-old winger joined Chelsea from the Ligue 1 side in 2007, after which the French club lodged a complaint with FIFA.
FIFA's Dispute Resolution Chamber (DRC) has finally passed their decision on the contractual dispute and handed down a hefty ban and substantial fine to the Blues.
Chelsea hit back at the ruling by issuing the following statement on their official website: "Chelsea will mount the strongest appeal possible following the decision of FIFA's Dispute Resolution Chamber over Gaël Kakuta.
"The sanctions are without precedent to this level and totally disproportionate to the alleged offence and the financial penalty imposed. We cannot comment further until we receive the full written rationale for this extraordinarily arbitrary decision."
FIFA will now send official documentation to Stamford Bridge and upon receipt of those notification papers Chelsea will have 10 days in which to lodge an appeal with the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS). Given the severity of the punishment, it is almost certain the club will take that course of action.
A statement from FIFA read: "The DRC found that the player had indeed breached a contract signed with the French club. Equally, the DRC deemed it to be established that the English club induced the player to such a breach.
"As a result the player was condemned to pay compensation in the amount of €780,000, for which the club, Chelsea, are jointly and severally liable.
"A restriction of four months on his eligibility to play in official matches has been imposed on Kakuta. Chelsea are banned from registering any new players, either nationally or internationally, for the two next entire and consecutive registration periods following the notification of the present decision.
"Furthermore, the club, Chelsea, have to pay Lens training compensation in the amount of €130,000."
Back in July 2005, Italian club Roma were similarly banned from signing players for a period of one year over the controversial signing of defender Philippe Mexes from French club Auxerre. However, on appeal the CAS later ordered FIFA to cut its ban to cover a single transfer window.
An interesting twist would surround the timing of Chelsea's appeal. It will be a number of weeks before the official papers are delivered to Stamford Bridge, from which time the club will have those 10 days to appeal. It then takes at least three months for the CAS to hear a case and that means it is highly possible Chelsea will be able to sign players for some or all of the January window.
This was the case with Roma when, after the CAS agreed to hear an appeal, their ban was suspended on August 8, 2005, allowing them to sign players for the remainder of that summer window. It took the CAS four months to hear Roma's case, and if the same happened to Chelsea it is likely that they would be unaffected in January.
Chelsea have been in trouble before over their transfer dealings and in June 2005 were found guilty of 'tapping-up' Arsenal defender Ashley Cole by the Premier League. The Blues were fined £300,000, Cole was fined £100,000 and then manager Jose Mourinho was fined £200,000.
Lille-born Kakuta, a skilful left-footed winger, is viewed as one of Chelsea's most promising young players, although injuries have blighted his time at Stamford Bridge. An excellent first season ended with the Frenchman being voted the Academy's Scholar of the Year after he emerged as the youth team's top scorer with 12 goals in 24 appearances, including six goals in Chelsea's Youth Cup run.
The 2008/09 season was a frustrating one for the France Under-17 international, who managed just seven appearances in total during an injury-curtailed campaign.
He overcame early-season hamstring problems to turn in a string of lively performances but his campaign was brought to a halt when he suffered a double ankle fracture in a friendly against the Glenn Hoddle Academy.
Kakuta's rehabilitation from the serious injury remains ongoing, although what kind of career awaits him at Chelsea on his return is now open to speculation.
The 18-year-old winger joined Chelsea from the Ligue 1 side in 2007, after which the French club lodged a complaint with FIFA.
FIFA's Dispute Resolution Chamber (DRC) has finally passed their decision on the contractual dispute and handed down a hefty ban and substantial fine to the Blues.
Chelsea hit back at the ruling by issuing the following statement on their official website: "Chelsea will mount the strongest appeal possible following the decision of FIFA's Dispute Resolution Chamber over Gaël Kakuta.
"The sanctions are without precedent to this level and totally disproportionate to the alleged offence and the financial penalty imposed. We cannot comment further until we receive the full written rationale for this extraordinarily arbitrary decision."
FIFA will now send official documentation to Stamford Bridge and upon receipt of those notification papers Chelsea will have 10 days in which to lodge an appeal with the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS). Given the severity of the punishment, it is almost certain the club will take that course of action.
A statement from FIFA read: "The DRC found that the player had indeed breached a contract signed with the French club. Equally, the DRC deemed it to be established that the English club induced the player to such a breach.
"As a result the player was condemned to pay compensation in the amount of €780,000, for which the club, Chelsea, are jointly and severally liable.
"A restriction of four months on his eligibility to play in official matches has been imposed on Kakuta. Chelsea are banned from registering any new players, either nationally or internationally, for the two next entire and consecutive registration periods following the notification of the present decision.
"Furthermore, the club, Chelsea, have to pay Lens training compensation in the amount of €130,000."
Back in July 2005, Italian club Roma were similarly banned from signing players for a period of one year over the controversial signing of defender Philippe Mexes from French club Auxerre. However, on appeal the CAS later ordered FIFA to cut its ban to cover a single transfer window.
An interesting twist would surround the timing of Chelsea's appeal. It will be a number of weeks before the official papers are delivered to Stamford Bridge, from which time the club will have those 10 days to appeal. It then takes at least three months for the CAS to hear a case and that means it is highly possible Chelsea will be able to sign players for some or all of the January window.
This was the case with Roma when, after the CAS agreed to hear an appeal, their ban was suspended on August 8, 2005, allowing them to sign players for the remainder of that summer window. It took the CAS four months to hear Roma's case, and if the same happened to Chelsea it is likely that they would be unaffected in January.
Chelsea have been in trouble before over their transfer dealings and in June 2005 were found guilty of 'tapping-up' Arsenal defender Ashley Cole by the Premier League. The Blues were fined £300,000, Cole was fined £100,000 and then manager Jose Mourinho was fined £200,000.
Lille-born Kakuta, a skilful left-footed winger, is viewed as one of Chelsea's most promising young players, although injuries have blighted his time at Stamford Bridge. An excellent first season ended with the Frenchman being voted the Academy's Scholar of the Year after he emerged as the youth team's top scorer with 12 goals in 24 appearances, including six goals in Chelsea's Youth Cup run.
The 2008/09 season was a frustrating one for the France Under-17 international, who managed just seven appearances in total during an injury-curtailed campaign.
He overcame early-season hamstring problems to turn in a string of lively performances but his campaign was brought to a halt when he suffered a double ankle fracture in a friendly against the Glenn Hoddle Academy.
Kakuta's rehabilitation from the serious injury remains ongoing, although what kind of career awaits him at Chelsea on his return is now open to speculation.
All Saints Day Trailer
This is the trailer for the sequel to one of my favorite movies of all time. If if this is not as good as the first, I am still pumped to see it.
No thumbprint, no money, bank tells armless man
MIAMI (Reuters) – A bank in Florida refused to cash a check for an armless man because he could not provide a thumbprint.
"They looked at my prosthetic hands and the teller said, 'Well, obviously you can't give us a thumbprint'," Steve Valdez told CNN on Wednesday.
But he said the Bank of America Corp branch in downtown Tampa, Florida, still insisted on a thumbprint identification for him to cash a check drawn on his wife's account at the bank, even though he showed them two photo IDs.
In the incident last week, a bank supervisor told Valdez he could only cash the check without a thumbprint if he brought his wife in with him or he opened an account with them.
"I told them I neither wanted an account with them and couldn't bring my wife in because she was nowhere close by," Valdez told CNN.
Bank of America said in a statement cited by CNN: "While the thumbprint is a requirement for those who don't have accounts, the bank should have made accommodations."
Valdez said his treatment by the bank violated the U.S. Americans with Disability Act requiring institutions to provide reasonable accommodation to disabled persons.
First of all, like my friend Phil said in his email to me with this link, this guy got OWNED. Secondly, I just became a BoA card holder but lucky for me I have both of my hands. I think that something must be said for the teller holding is ground. It takes a lot of cojones to stand up to a guy with no hands. I mean how do you not think about the consequences though? You have to know damn well that this is going to end up in the papers. I know I would have let him cash the check.
"They looked at my prosthetic hands and the teller said, 'Well, obviously you can't give us a thumbprint'," Steve Valdez told CNN on Wednesday.
But he said the Bank of America Corp branch in downtown Tampa, Florida, still insisted on a thumbprint identification for him to cash a check drawn on his wife's account at the bank, even though he showed them two photo IDs.
In the incident last week, a bank supervisor told Valdez he could only cash the check without a thumbprint if he brought his wife in with him or he opened an account with them.
"I told them I neither wanted an account with them and couldn't bring my wife in because she was nowhere close by," Valdez told CNN.
Bank of America said in a statement cited by CNN: "While the thumbprint is a requirement for those who don't have accounts, the bank should have made accommodations."
Valdez said his treatment by the bank violated the U.S. Americans with Disability Act requiring institutions to provide reasonable accommodation to disabled persons.
First of all, like my friend Phil said in his email to me with this link, this guy got OWNED. Secondly, I just became a BoA card holder but lucky for me I have both of my hands. I think that something must be said for the teller holding is ground. It takes a lot of cojones to stand up to a guy with no hands. I mean how do you not think about the consequences though? You have to know damn well that this is going to end up in the papers. I know I would have let him cash the check.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Awful Soccer Injury
After seeing this video, I am contemplating permanent retirement from soccer. The guys toe hit his knee cap, not cool.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sand Art - Pretty Sweet
This is pretty cool stuff. I have seen this before, but John Fab sent it over and thought it might be nice to post on a rainy Friday afternoon. Check it out.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
The Female Urinal?
I introduce the female urinal. I found this on Gizmodo this morning and had to put it up. I just do not see how this is practical. I mean look at the little trough coming out of it. How is a woman supposed to pee into that? I mean, depending on my state or just for pure laziness, according to the Misses, I have trouble peeing into the toilet, and I have some control over my aim!I just don't see this being very practical solution. I would actually like to see this somewhere and put into use. It would be an interesting experiment.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Guilty Movie Pleasures
Just like the previous post of “Music You Cant Admit to Having” there are a large number of movies that I feel I should enjoy, but in the end do. I may or may not have even seen some of them several times. Most of the time I am forced to watch things because the lady in my life decides to drag to me to the movie theater against my will. Here is my list of guilty movie pleasures....dont hate.
Sex and the City (Movie and Show)
Fever Pitch
All The Harry Potter Movies
Hitch
The Notebook
The Devil Wears Prada (Thanks a lot HBO)
Grease
My best Friend’s Wedding
Save the Last Dance
Pretty Woman
Anything with Meg Ryan
He’s Just Not That Into You
Definitely Maybe (Again, stupid HBO)
Clueless
I am sure there are more, but just thinking about this is making me less manly. The more I think about it, HBO is to blame, not the wifey. I need to stop watching cable. Add you own below!
Sex and the City (Movie and Show)
Fever Pitch
All The Harry Potter Movies
Hitch
The Notebook
The Devil Wears Prada (Thanks a lot HBO)
Grease
My best Friend’s Wedding
Save the Last Dance
Pretty Woman
Anything with Meg Ryan
He’s Just Not That Into You
Definitely Maybe (Again, stupid HBO)
Clueless
I am sure there are more, but just thinking about this is making me less manly. The more I think about it, HBO is to blame, not the wifey. I need to stop watching cable. Add you own below!
Yo Mama Jokes
I worry about the younger generation. I don’t think they’re as funny as my generation. Maybe it’s because they’re spoiled, accustomed to living comfortably, content to forever suck on the teat of future generations. And because of this, perhaps they are not able to generate comedic material of the same quality as their forbearers. All I know is, when I was 12, I was a shitload funnier than the d-bag 12-year-old next door. The best zingers he can throw at me are, “Nice receding hairline—can I wax your head for ya?” or “Tell your wife thanks for the milk she left me in the fridge.” While these “jokes” are funny, they’re slightly too factual to be considered real jokes.
When I was an adolescent, the measure of a young man’s prowess hinged on his ability to quickly and frequently draw from a reservoir of “Yo Mama” jokes, to insult and degrade those he considered a threat to his harem of 17-year-old Argentinean models (at least in my school). Some examples are:
“Yo Mama’s so stupid, it took her two hours to watch ’60 Minutes.’”
“Yo Mama’s so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.”
“Yo Mama’s so ugly, they didn’t give her a costume when she auditioned for ‘Star Wars.’”
You get the idea. However, I’ve realized that these jokes haven’t evolved much over time, and maybe we could help the younger generations by giving them some new material (god knows they won’t come up with it on their own). So I’ve created some new “Yo Mama” jokes to get the ball rolling, and please keep in mind that I’m completely shitfaced right now. If anyone reads this blog, feel free to add your own. And if you don’t read this blog, suck it.
1 ) Yo Mama is so ugly, she was rejected from “Flava Of Love.”
2) Yo Mama is so fat, she put a down payment on a Waffle House.
3) Yo Mama is so slutty, she thought “Cash For Clunkers” was a proposition.
4) Yo Mama is so loose, students are now required to write on “YoMama-Leaf Paper.” – FUCK YOU THAT’S AWESOME
5) Yo Mama is so trashy, I leave her in my front yard on Sunday nights.
6) Yo Mama is so old, she shampoos her muff with Head & Shoulders.
You’re welcome.
When I was an adolescent, the measure of a young man’s prowess hinged on his ability to quickly and frequently draw from a reservoir of “Yo Mama” jokes, to insult and degrade those he considered a threat to his harem of 17-year-old Argentinean models (at least in my school). Some examples are:
“Yo Mama’s so stupid, it took her two hours to watch ’60 Minutes.’”
“Yo Mama’s so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.”
“Yo Mama’s so ugly, they didn’t give her a costume when she auditioned for ‘Star Wars.’”
You get the idea. However, I’ve realized that these jokes haven’t evolved much over time, and maybe we could help the younger generations by giving them some new material (god knows they won’t come up with it on their own). So I’ve created some new “Yo Mama” jokes to get the ball rolling, and please keep in mind that I’m completely shitfaced right now. If anyone reads this blog, feel free to add your own. And if you don’t read this blog, suck it.
1 ) Yo Mama is so ugly, she was rejected from “Flava Of Love.”
2) Yo Mama is so fat, she put a down payment on a Waffle House.
3) Yo Mama is so slutty, she thought “Cash For Clunkers” was a proposition.
4) Yo Mama is so loose, students are now required to write on “YoMama-Leaf Paper.” – FUCK YOU THAT’S AWESOME
5) Yo Mama is so trashy, I leave her in my front yard on Sunday nights.
6) Yo Mama is so old, she shampoos her muff with Head & Shoulders.
You’re welcome.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Completely Mind Blowing
Ok, I went into this thinking it was gonna be a complete joke. This is too freaky though. Click on the link and follow the instructions.
Mind Fuck?
Mind Fuck?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
This Kid Can Dance
So last night i got conned into watching about 15 minutes of "So You Think You Can Dance." It was on at Mulligans from some unknown reason and the Mrs wanted to grab a beer. She paid for once and my punishment for allowing this was being forced to watch this stupid show while drinking my beer. If only this little kid had been on the show, maybe it would have been tolerable.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Rap Video - College Humor Style
Found this today on YouTube and thought it was pretty cool. These guys are usually on point with their videos, ala Prank Wars.
Best line is about the Renaissance Festival...
Click here for the video - Embed was not enabled. Kinda lame.
Best line is about the Renaissance Festival...
Click here for the video - Embed was not enabled. Kinda lame.
Hello Again
Hello again,as you can see it has been a very very long time since my last post. Not a whole lot as happened since we last spoke that would be enjoyable to write about. The Mrs. is doing great and everything is going fine on the job front.
I just wanted to say that I am sorry for the delay and that we are going to work very hard to start the entertainment once again. I hope you can forgive me for the lack of motivation these last couple months and hopefully I can make up for with the posts to come.
Now, i need to find something funny to post, check back soon.
I just wanted to say that I am sorry for the delay and that we are going to work very hard to start the entertainment once again. I hope you can forgive me for the lack of motivation these last couple months and hopefully I can make up for with the posts to come. Now, i need to find something funny to post, check back soon.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Greatest Commercial Ever
If two women would ever fight for my affection, this is exactly how I would want to see it. However, this will probably never happen, and not because Lightsabers are fake. It's nice to dream though!
Chia Obama - I want one or maybe three!
New Yorkers may soon get a chance to say hail to the Ch-Ch-Chia Obama at local drugstores.
The grassy-headed figurine of President Obama was pulled from Walgreens shelves in Chicago and Tampa after some people called it racist and company brass decided the new collectible was wrong for their image.
But Chia Obama's maker says he won't cut and run, and he is in negotiations with drugstore chains in the New York market to bring Chia Obama here in the coming weeks.
"As quickly as they can take them, we will send them," said Joseph Pedott, 76, founder of the as-seen-on-TV Chia Pets empire.
In the meantime, Pedott added, Chia Obama is for sale online - in "Happy" or "Determined" poses - for the amazingly low price of just $19.99 (three seed packs included!).
It's already a top seller and "could be the biggest I have ever had," Pedott said.
Pedott said he was stung by suggestions that there was something racist about Chia Obama, which, if left untrimmed, appears to give the 44th President a healthy, if very green, Afro.
"Since when is an Afro racist?" asked Pedott, a Republican who voted for Obama. Owners can trim Chia Obama's "hair" to any length they want, he added.
The presidential bust is also emblazoned "Yes We Can," Obama's campaign slogan, as well as with the words "liberty," "opportunity," "prosperity" and "hope."
"We all need hope," said Pedott.
I am not really sure what the big deal is with the Chia Obama. Perhaps it has something to do with the afro look of the plant coming out of his head but I really don't think it is worth all the craziness. I think I might try to find the 3 pack and put them all over my room at home my office and maybe give one as a gift. Should I be looking to purchase the "Happy" or "Determined" Chia Obama?
The grassy-headed figurine of President Obama was pulled from Walgreens shelves in Chicago and Tampa after some people called it racist and company brass decided the new collectible was wrong for their image.
But Chia Obama's maker says he won't cut and run, and he is in negotiations with drugstore chains in the New York market to bring Chia Obama here in the coming weeks.
"As quickly as they can take them, we will send them," said Joseph Pedott, 76, founder of the as-seen-on-TV Chia Pets empire.In the meantime, Pedott added, Chia Obama is for sale online - in "Happy" or "Determined" poses - for the amazingly low price of just $19.99 (three seed packs included!).
It's already a top seller and "could be the biggest I have ever had," Pedott said.
Pedott said he was stung by suggestions that there was something racist about Chia Obama, which, if left untrimmed, appears to give the 44th President a healthy, if very green, Afro.
"Since when is an Afro racist?" asked Pedott, a Republican who voted for Obama. Owners can trim Chia Obama's "hair" to any length they want, he added.
The presidential bust is also emblazoned "Yes We Can," Obama's campaign slogan, as well as with the words "liberty," "opportunity," "prosperity" and "hope."
"We all need hope," said Pedott.
I am not really sure what the big deal is with the Chia Obama. Perhaps it has something to do with the afro look of the plant coming out of his head but I really don't think it is worth all the craziness. I think I might try to find the 3 pack and put them all over my room at home my office and maybe give one as a gift. Should I be looking to purchase the "Happy" or "Determined" Chia Obama?
Monday, March 16, 2009
Holy Crap! Kid Lives After Impailing Himself With 3 Foot Rod
THREE-YEAR-OLD Mehul Kumar is lucky to be alive after being speared through the torso with a 3-foot (1 metre) iron rod.
The boy, from Jharkand, India, was rushed to the hospital after he impaled himself falling off a terrace and onto a rod last week.
The boy was fully conscious when he arrived at the hospital. Doctors removed the rod during a 4-hour operation and said he had lost a lot of blood and suffered some injuries, but "nothing major."
"Opening the abdomen, we discovered his liver was injured, the stomach was injured, but thankfully, the spleen and pancreas were safe," said surgeon Sandeep Aggarwal said. "The child was lucky that he did not suffer any major injury but yes he had substantial injuries."
Aggarwal praised Mehul for his strong willpower.
Mehul was playing with colours on the terrace when he fell on an iron rod left standing on the under-construction terrace, his uncle Raja Kumar Vishwakarma said. The rod pierced through his body and then broke, resulting in his fall from the roof.
In July last year, Supratim Dutta had similarly been impaled by a 5-foot long (1.5 metre) iron bar that had pierced through his chest in New Delhi. Supratim was saved by the doctors of All India Institute of Medical Sciences.
This is just absolutely insane! How is this kid alive!? I am amazed by modern medicine but this kid is just lucky. I can say without a doubt that I would not have survived this...
The boy, from Jharkand, India, was rushed to the hospital after he impaled himself falling off a terrace and onto a rod last week.
The boy was fully conscious when he arrived at the hospital. Doctors removed the rod during a 4-hour operation and said he had lost a lot of blood and suffered some injuries, but "nothing major."
"Opening the abdomen, we discovered his liver was injured, the stomach was injured, but thankfully, the spleen and pancreas were safe," said surgeon Sandeep Aggarwal said. "The child was lucky that he did not suffer any major injury but yes he had substantial injuries."Aggarwal praised Mehul for his strong willpower.
Mehul was playing with colours on the terrace when he fell on an iron rod left standing on the under-construction terrace, his uncle Raja Kumar Vishwakarma said. The rod pierced through his body and then broke, resulting in his fall from the roof.
In July last year, Supratim Dutta had similarly been impaled by a 5-foot long (1.5 metre) iron bar that had pierced through his chest in New Delhi. Supratim was saved by the doctors of All India Institute of Medical Sciences.
This is just absolutely insane! How is this kid alive!? I am amazed by modern medicine but this kid is just lucky. I can say without a doubt that I would not have survived this...
Friday, March 13, 2009
It's The Greatest Time of the Year
Thank God for March. This is definitely the greatest two weeks in college basketball, between the conference championships and the first two rounds of the tourney, I can not get enough basketball.
I just survived a heart attacked from my Tarheels. Not being able to watch the game at work make it ten times more difficult, watching the game on ESPN Gamecast is just nerve wrecking. But in the end they pulled it out. Let's hope that Lawson feels like playing tomorrow!
I would like to say that I was very impressed with Cuse last night and their victory over UCONN. Islam called the loss last night, and I am the biggest CUSE hater out there but that an awesome game. Bring on the games tonight and tomorrow! Let me know who you got. Who is doing a pool??
I just survived a heart attacked from my Tarheels. Not being able to watch the game at work make it ten times more difficult, watching the game on ESPN Gamecast is just nerve wrecking. But in the end they pulled it out. Let's hope that Lawson feels like playing tomorrow!
I would like to say that I was very impressed with Cuse last night and their victory over UCONN. Islam called the loss last night, and I am the biggest CUSE hater out there but that an awesome game. Bring on the games tonight and tomorrow! Let me know who you got. Who is doing a pool??
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Prank Wars From College Humor
The last time we saw this guy he was getting slapped in front of a huge crowd at Yankee Stadium after telling his then girlfriend that he didnt want to marry her. Now I have heard rumors and rumblings that these "pranks" might be staged. Either way, this is a classic prank and I wish I had the ability and the brain power to put something like this together.
Here is the question, do you think this is real and please let me know if you have any ideas for pranks. I would love to get something going with Benji and Styp...
25th Year on earth Update
On my 25th birthday I wrote a post about things I wanted to accomplish within the next 5 years. I thought it was time to update this list. Below are the new items that I can check off.
#43. Dace with a stranger in a foreign country.
#51. Visit Ireland
#69. Toured ancient sites.
No bad for only a couple months. At this rate I should have a fair amount done over the next 5 years.
I'm at work early so I should probably actually do something work related. Check back later for some funnier items.
#43. Dace with a stranger in a foreign country.#51. Visit Ireland
#69. Toured ancient sites.
No bad for only a couple months. At this rate I should have a fair amount done over the next 5 years.
I'm at work early so I should probably actually do something work related. Check back later for some funnier items.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Return To Blogging
OK well first I would like to apologize to the few readers that I do have about my lack of production lately. There have been several factors that have resulted in the low amount of information being shared lately here. There have been trips, break ups, work, family issues and let's face it, some good old laziness. This is a lot more work than most people think, with the research, no ideas and general time that it takes to create a post.
But excuses aside, it is time to get back at it. I would like to thank Travis for his post yesterday, it really got me back on track. So I though for my first entry in a long time I would just give a quick recall of the past few weeks.
1. Ireland
I spent an entire week in the beautiful country of Ireland doing a video for work. THe subject of the video is Gastroenterology, yeah that's right. And for anyone who really knows me, you know that I have some serious stomach issues. Let's just say that after a week of filming CEO's and PHD's that I have learned a thing or two about IBS.
On another note, Ireland is amazing. The Temple Bar area in Dublin is where Benji and I spent most of our time when the work was finished. The Guinness flows like water and the people are great. We basically rented our own apartment for the weekend and drank our faces off. During my week I also made it to Cork and Galway and highly recommend visiting Ireland if you get the chance. If you love beer, people, beautiful country and amazing women from around the world this is the place for you. Find a nice little lassie and settle down.
2. Vegas
I was in Vegas for the better part of 5 days again for work. Although these trips happen for work, we always make the best of it. Once again Benji was my traveling buddy and we always find something interesting to do. We found our way to Studio 54 and the MGM one night; strobe lights, smoke, dancers, drinks and some good old fashion drunks makes this club a must see.
Other than that, Vegas is well Vegas so there is always way to much to do and what happens there stays there...
There were a couple other things that happened throughout my time away as noted above and I am not going to bore you with every detail. So in signing off here is a link to the video for the Hoboken St Pattys Day which was an absolute shit show.
For Fucks Sake!!
But excuses aside, it is time to get back at it. I would like to thank Travis for his post yesterday, it really got me back on track. So I though for my first entry in a long time I would just give a quick recall of the past few weeks.
1. Ireland
I spent an entire week in the beautiful country of Ireland doing a video for work. THe subject of the video is Gastroenterology, yeah that's right. And for anyone who really knows me, you know that I have some serious stomach issues. Let's just say that after a week of filming CEO's and PHD's that I have learned a thing or two about IBS.
On another note, Ireland is amazing. The Temple Bar area in Dublin is where Benji and I spent most of our time when the work was finished. The Guinness flows like water and the people are great. We basically rented our own apartment for the weekend and drank our faces off. During my week I also made it to Cork and Galway and highly recommend visiting Ireland if you get the chance. If you love beer, people, beautiful country and amazing women from around the world this is the place for you. Find a nice little lassie and settle down.
2. Vegas
I was in Vegas for the better part of 5 days again for work. Although these trips happen for work, we always make the best of it. Once again Benji was my traveling buddy and we always find something interesting to do. We found our way to Studio 54 and the MGM one night; strobe lights, smoke, dancers, drinks and some good old fashion drunks makes this club a must see.
Other than that, Vegas is well Vegas so there is always way to much to do and what happens there stays there...
There were a couple other things that happened throughout my time away as noted above and I am not going to bore you with every detail. So in signing off here is a link to the video for the Hoboken St Pattys Day which was an absolute shit show.
For Fucks Sake!!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Death, Taxes And Assholes On The Subway
Ben Franklin once said the only two certainties in life are death and taxes. As Mr. Franklin never rode the subway, we can forgive him for overlooking a third certainty well-known to New Yorkers: every time you ride the subway, you will encounter people exhibiting an unprecedented combination of idiocy, rudeness and psychosis. And that’s just the MTA employees! For the uninitiated, a survey was conducted a few years back showing the most stressful time of day for the majority of New Yorkers was traveling to and from work. I’m sure a lot of this stress is rooted in the unreliability of New York’s transit systems. But the people of New York could also help themselves quite a bit if they followed a simple code of etiquette. Such a code does not officially exist, but most people with a touch of common sense, courtesy and intelligence seem to innately follow these rules. Unfortunately, that makes up a small minority of the New York population. Technically, the MTA once ran ads on its subway cars alerting passengers to some of these rules, but this came off as insulting at best. The incompetent MTA giving lectures on subway ethics is like the Taliban handing out flyers on how to dress. Oh wait... With the understanding that most people are obviously not aware of subway etiquette—and with the recognition that without idiocy, rudeness and psychosis, New York would be missing a certain charm--I have listed a number of common subway infractions and the suitable punishment for each violation.
RULE #1:LET PEOPLE OFF THE TRAIN FIRST
Look, I know you’re a 300-pound slob and it’s important that you find a seat, but that’s not the fault of the poor saps trying to get off the train. There’s nothing more annoying than watching someone on the platform drop their head and bull rush through a pack of exiting passengers like they’re tackling dummies in high school football summer sessions, just to find an open seat. Here’s the deal: if you ran as hard as you did to find a seat three times a day, five minutes at a time, you wouldn’t be so out of shape and you wouldn’t have to sit down. Unfortunately, these are the only times you exert yourself, so you remain a portly mess.
Punishment: No seat on the train, and an immediate 15 minutes running on a treadmill. If the infraction is particularly egregious, beef up the punishment by hurling fake dummies at the offender as he/she runs on the treadmill, to simulate the ocean of existing passengers that the offender has chosen to ignore.
RULE #2: DO NOT TAKE UP MORE THAN ONE SEAT
Not surprisingly, there’s a fair amount of overlap between the violators of rules #1 and #2. Indeed, the people who rush onto the train before the exiting passengers can leave the train are often morbidly obese and desperate to sit down. Unfortunately, this inevitably leads to an infraction of rule #2. It’s not the fault of the dude sitting next to you that you look like Shrek after a K-Mart shopping spree, yet he has no choice but to enjoy the warm comfort of your hamstring resting on his balls.
Penalty: Same as the penalty for breaking rule #1, although I also recommend forcing the offender to walk to work for a whole week. I don’t care how long the commute is.
RULE #3: DO NOT WALK UP OR DOWN THE LEFT SIDE OF THE STAIRS
This is one rule that, for whatever reason, drives me nuts when it’s broken. You’re walking up the stairs on the right side along with everyone else in the cattle herd, when someone who is either oblivious or clearly more important than the rest of the planet darts up the left side of the stairs. Invariably, someone starts walking down the stairs in the opposite direction, forcing the offender to squeeze back into the right side, where he/she should have been in the first place. I personally relish being right next to the offender in these cases, because I will not let them squeeze in under any circumstances. It makes for an uncomfortable situation and the offender is exposed as a selfish jackass. As far as I’m concerned, they should go to the back of the line. It’s like waiting at a toll booth when someone speeds down the shoulder and cuts in front of everyone else—just a straight-up dick move. Except in this case, it’s like said dick just sped down a lane that’s meant for oncoming traffic. I will never understand what’s so difficult about staying to the right. This isn’t England. Everybody stays to the right at all times.
Penalty: Since the offender clearly prefers the English way of doing things, the most fitting penalty for walking up/down the left side of the stairs is listening to 12 straight hours of England’s worst singer from arguably the worst decade ever (the ‘80s): Phil Collins.
Don’t argue
with me about the ’80s, by the way. It was a decade where the excesses of the ‘70s gave way to self-pitying, pretentious douchebags like the aforementioned Collins and Hall & Oates (who, like Collins, first experienced success in the ‘70s but hit their douche stride in the ‘80s), and provided Glenn Frey and Don Henley the opportunity to emerge from the Eagles umbrella to expose themselves as equally repugnant cocksuckers. Still not convinced? Next time you have a free moment, listen to “Bette Davis Eyes.” Listen to Kim Carnes’ coke-hangover voice, which lies on the wrong side of the fine line separating “sexy and breathy” from “nails on a chalkboard.” Consider the artificial synth-laced production, the overall air of self-importance, and you essentially have the ‘80s in a 3-minute nutshell. The advent of hip-hop , the Replacements, the Minutemen and “Appetite For Destruction” are excused from this rant.RULE #4: TURN THE VOLUME DOWN ON YOUR iPOD
I have to allow some room for error on this one, because I can understand how it would be difficult to know if other people can hear your music when you’re headphones are on. I might be guilty of this myself, having spent years in front of guitar amplifiers making noises not unlike those of sea lions during the mating season, disabling my own hearing, self-esteem and long-term memory in the process. However, since I’m giving people the benefit of the doubt, I would also like to think people would have an inkling of self-awareness when someone on the other side of the subway car can hear your iPod playing “I Like To Move It Move It,” particularly when it’s eight freakin’ 30 in the morning.
Penalty: Listen to “Bette Davis Eyes” for three hours straight with headphones, volume turned up full blast.
I’ll be back tomorrow with Part II of this installment.
I have to allow some room for error on this one, because I can understand how it would be difficult to know if other people can hear your music when you’re headphones are on. I might be guilty of this myself, having spent years in front of guitar amplifiers making noises not unlike those of sea lions during the mating season, disabling my own hearing, self-esteem and long-term memory in the process. However, since I’m giving people the benefit of the doubt, I would also like to think people would have an inkling of self-awareness when someone on the other side of the subway car can hear your iPod playing “I Like To Move It Move It,” particularly when it’s eight freakin’ 30 in the morning.
Penalty: Listen to “Bette Davis Eyes” for three hours straight with headphones, volume turned up full blast.
I’ll be back tomorrow with Part II of this installment.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Why Your Girlfriend is Making You Broke
Being in a relationship may enrich your life, but it’s definitely doing no favors for your wallet. Find out where you’re spending the most money on your girl and plug those holes ASAP.
You’ve been dating for 6 months now and things are great - you’re hanging out regularly, your friends like her, her friends like you and, well, things are good. There’s one catch. You haven’t saved a penny in the last four months and you’re watching your credit card balance climb onward and upward like a balloon on parade day.
Your girlfriend is making you broke. But, how? And more importantly, how do you stop it? Let’s start with how you got here (here being the point where you start stuffing credit card statements into your sock drawer in order to hide from the shame):
She Wants to Go Out
It’s Friday. She wants to leave the house. Nothing too crazy, just meet a few friends for a drink or two at a local pub, maybe have a couple of appetizers and then retreat back home to watch a movie. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, right? Wrong.
Let’s break it down:
* Return Cab Fare* $20
* 3 Drinks for Two $50
* Appetizers $30
*The return cab fare is because you’re not the kind of jerk that drinks and then drives.
For a quiet night with friends you just blew $100. Do that once a week and you’re looking at $400 a month or $4800 a year. Don’t even get me started on full-blown dinners, the movies, big nights out or the tiny little extras like stopping on the way home for a fancy hot chocolate.
Even if you two are splitting the tab now and then, all that socializing can cause some serious damage to your wallet. One to two nights out a week can break you faster than you think.
Continue here...
I saw this article today and I just thought that I needed to post it. I know that I have been absent from writing lately, a drunken trip to Ireland will do that, but I apologize.
I will be writing an update on the trip later today so keep checking the site. In the mean time check out the rest of the ways that your girlfriend is making you broke. i know I suffer from a few of these, but they are all worth it, I swear! (That is to keep me from sleeping alone this weekend!)
You’ve been dating for 6 months now and things are great - you’re hanging out regularly, your friends like her, her friends like you and, well, things are good. There’s one catch. You haven’t saved a penny in the last four months and you’re watching your credit card balance climb onward and upward like a balloon on parade day.
Your girlfriend is making you broke. But, how? And more importantly, how do you stop it? Let’s start with how you got here (here being the point where you start stuffing credit card statements into your sock drawer in order to hide from the shame):
She Wants to Go Out
It’s Friday. She wants to leave the house. Nothing too crazy, just meet a few friends for a drink or two at a local pub, maybe have a couple of appetizers and then retreat back home to watch a movie. Doesn’t seem like a big deal, right? Wrong.
Let’s break it down:
* Return Cab Fare* $20
* 3 Drinks for Two $50
* Appetizers $30
*The return cab fare is because you’re not the kind of jerk that drinks and then drives.
For a quiet night with friends you just blew $100. Do that once a week and you’re looking at $400 a month or $4800 a year. Don’t even get me started on full-blown dinners, the movies, big nights out or the tiny little extras like stopping on the way home for a fancy hot chocolate.
Even if you two are splitting the tab now and then, all that socializing can cause some serious damage to your wallet. One to two nights out a week can break you faster than you think.
Continue here...
I saw this article today and I just thought that I needed to post it. I know that I have been absent from writing lately, a drunken trip to Ireland will do that, but I apologize.
I will be writing an update on the trip later today so keep checking the site. In the mean time check out the rest of the ways that your girlfriend is making you broke. i know I suffer from a few of these, but they are all worth it, I swear! (That is to keep me from sleeping alone this weekend!)
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Trip To Ireland
I leave today for a week long trip to Ireland. I am going for work, but will make sure to have enough time for some personal fun. I will be traveling across the entire island from Shannon to Cork to Dublin to Galway and back to Dublin. I will also be making a weekend trip to England to see a Manchester United game.
That part of the trip could get a little pricey, but I have to go for my own sanity. If anyone has ever been to Ireland please let me know if there is something specific I should check out in Dublin.
That part of the trip could get a little pricey, but I have to go for my own sanity. If anyone has ever been to Ireland please let me know if there is something specific I should check out in Dublin.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Headlines I Expect To See In 2009
Grass-Roots Political Campaign Derails At Local Bar
Alcoholic Husband Breaks Wife’s Heart, Jaw
Debate Moderator Fails To Moderate Debate
Staples Store Runs Out Of Staples
Ryan Seacrest’s Attempts At Heterosexuality Fall Flat
Man’s Obsession With Fantasy Football Angers Fantasy Girlfriend
E-Card More Revealing In What It Doesn’t Say, According To Local Grandmother
Guitar Player Regrets Playing Guitar
Irony Not Lost On Paralyzed Dog Walker
Expense Report Reveals Love For Cashews
One-Man Play Proves To Be One Person Too Many
Alabama Woman Claims To See Face Of Mary In The Vatican
“World of Warcraft” Game Ends In Masturbation
Son’s Lack Of Initiative Angers Local Toll Booth Operator
Recent Baltimore Transplant Already Tired Of Jokes About “The Wire”
Lottery Winner’s Luck Runs Out When Local Townspeople Stone Her To Death
Man Fulfills Dream Of Waking Up Naked In His 3rd-Grade Classroom
Local High School Teacher Reprimands Own Penis For Insubordination
Polish Man Tired Of Stupid Jokes That He Doesn’t Understand
Alcoholic Husband Breaks Wife’s Heart, Jaw
Debate Moderator Fails To Moderate Debate
Staples Store Runs Out Of Staples
Ryan Seacrest’s Attempts At Heterosexuality Fall Flat
Man’s Obsession With Fantasy Football Angers Fantasy Girlfriend
E-Card More Revealing In What It Doesn’t Say, According To Local Grandmother
Guitar Player Regrets Playing Guitar
Irony Not Lost On Paralyzed Dog Walker
Expense Report Reveals Love For Cashews
One-Man Play Proves To Be One Person Too Many
Alabama Woman Claims To See Face Of Mary In The Vatican
“World of Warcraft” Game Ends In Masturbation
Son’s Lack Of Initiative Angers Local Toll Booth Operator
Recent Baltimore Transplant Already Tired Of Jokes About “The Wire”
Lottery Winner’s Luck Runs Out When Local Townspeople Stone Her To Death
Man Fulfills Dream Of Waking Up Naked In His 3rd-Grade Classroom
Local High School Teacher Reprimands Own Penis For Insubordination
Polish Man Tired Of Stupid Jokes That He Doesn’t Understand
Man in Florida, USA, arrested for using 911 to complain about fast food
A man in Boynton Beach, Florida was arrested for misusing the city's 911 emergency phone service. Jean Fortune, 66, called 911 to complain about a fast food order from Burger King he didn't yet place.
On Monday Fortune called 911 to complain that the Burger King he was going to eat at, did not sell lemonade. He also complained to 911 operators that the food he had yet to order, was going to take 15 minutes to complete.
"You cannot dial 911 because you are unhappy with your burger, ok. I know you don't seriously think that the police need to make Burger King give you food faster," says the operator as Fortune continued to complain. "If it takes 15 minutes to cook, it takes 15 minutes to cook, ok. You don't need to call 911."
It turns out, after nearly three minutes of arguing with the operator, Fortune never even placed an order.
"Have you given them any money?," asks the operator. Fortune replies "no." The operator then asks Fortune, "have they given you any food?" Again Fortune replies "no." The operator then tells Fortune that he is able to "just drive away" from the situation, but he disagrees and tells her he will "just move [his] car". The operator warns Fortune that the police are on their way and then tells him to not block the drive-thru.
When police arrived, they arrested him for misusing the emergency line, which is a criminal offense in Florida. He was formally charged with the crime, issued a notice to appear in court and then released.
I love that the operator was not only able to talk to him about how dumb he was for calling 911 about fast food service, but was also able to keep him on the phone long enough for the police to come and arrest him.
This guy must have some serious problems with Burger King. but why not just go to McDonalds anyway? They are an American icon and I believe give better value than a Burger King. I bet they serve lemonade too...
On Monday Fortune called 911 to complain that the Burger King he was going to eat at, did not sell lemonade. He also complained to 911 operators that the food he had yet to order, was going to take 15 minutes to complete.
"You cannot dial 911 because you are unhappy with your burger, ok. I know you don't seriously think that the police need to make Burger King give you food faster," says the operator as Fortune continued to complain. "If it takes 15 minutes to cook, it takes 15 minutes to cook, ok. You don't need to call 911."
It turns out, after nearly three minutes of arguing with the operator, Fortune never even placed an order.
"Have you given them any money?," asks the operator. Fortune replies "no." The operator then asks Fortune, "have they given you any food?" Again Fortune replies "no." The operator then tells Fortune that he is able to "just drive away" from the situation, but he disagrees and tells her he will "just move [his] car". The operator warns Fortune that the police are on their way and then tells him to not block the drive-thru.
When police arrived, they arrested him for misusing the emergency line, which is a criminal offense in Florida. He was formally charged with the crime, issued a notice to appear in court and then released.
I love that the operator was not only able to talk to him about how dumb he was for calling 911 about fast food service, but was also able to keep him on the phone long enough for the police to come and arrest him.
This guy must have some serious problems with Burger King. but why not just go to McDonalds anyway? They are an American icon and I believe give better value than a Burger King. I bet they serve lemonade too...
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Song's You Wont Admit You Own
Driving with my friend David the other day I found a play list on his iPod that was titled "Song You Wont Admit You Have". Personally, I thought this was brilliant so I had him send me the songs on the playlist and tried to think of a few more to add myself. Please comment and add any to the list as you see fit!
Its tearing up my heart - nsync
Quit playing games with my heart - BSB
I drive myself crazy - nsync
My everything - 98 degrees
Back here baby - BBMack
Beautiful soul - Jesse Mcartney
On the way down - Ryan Cabrara
Barbie girl - aqua
Pieces of me - Ashlee Simpson
Girl on Tv - LFO
The hardest thing - 98 degrees
Shes no you - Jesse Mcartney
God must have spent a little more time on you - nsync
Summer girls - lfo
Ill never break you heart- BSB
This is promise you - nsync
Bye Bye Bye - nsync
I want it that way - BSB
Its gonna be me - nsync
As long as you love me - BSB
All i have to give - BSB
I do - 98 degrees
All or nothing - O Town
swear it again - WestLife
My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
Hot in Here - Nelly
Macarena - Los Del Rio
If You Wanna Be My Lover - Spice Girls
I'm too sexy - Right Said Fred
She Bangs - Ricky Martin
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
Mandy - Barry Manilow
All My Life - KC and JOJO
First Date-Blink182
Love Song-Sara Bareilles
Kryptonite-3 Doors Down
Any Jonas Brothers Song
All Out Of Love - Air Supply
Please add your own!!
Its tearing up my heart - nsyncQuit playing games with my heart - BSB
I drive myself crazy - nsync
My everything - 98 degrees
Back here baby - BBMack
Beautiful soul - Jesse Mcartney
On the way down - Ryan Cabrara
Barbie girl - aqua
Pieces of me - Ashlee Simpson
Girl on Tv - LFO
The hardest thing - 98 degrees
Shes no you - Jesse Mcartney
God must have spent a little more time on you - nsync
Summer girls - lfo
Ill never break you heart- BSB
This is promise you - nsync
Bye Bye Bye - nsync
I want it that way - BSB
Its gonna be me - nsync
As long as you love me - BSB
All i have to give - BSB
I do - 98 degrees
All or nothing - O Town
swear it again - WestLife
My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
Hot in Here - Nelly
Macarena - Los Del Rio
If You Wanna Be My Lover - Spice Girls
I'm too sexy - Right Said Fred
She Bangs - Ricky Martin
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
Mandy - Barry Manilow
All My Life - KC and JOJO
First Date-Blink182
Love Song-Sara Bareilles
Kryptonite-3 Doors Down
Any Jonas Brothers Song
All Out Of Love - Air Supply
Please add your own!!
Friday, January 30, 2009
If Only Veggies Were This Sexy
'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad
Now am certainly not a vegetarian nor do I really support the PETA cause, other than cruelty to animals as a "no-no", but this ad is awesome. I don't know how this ad was not allowed to air on NBC for the Super Bowl, I know I have seen commercials very similar to this.
I will tell you this though, if any woman wanted to make me eat vegetables by dressing in some sexy lingerie and doing crude things things with the food, I would be more than happy to oblige.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Some Things Omitted From The Joe Torre Book
After reading an advance copy of the controversial Joe Torre/Tom Verducci book, “The Yankee Years,” it is clear the book neglects to address several controversial topics, which are listed below:- Rudy Giuliani’s stint with the Yankees in 2003 under the name “Aaron Boone.”
- Torre’s “Single White Female”-like obsession with Tanyon Sturtze.
- A-Rod’s obsession with “Single White Female.”
- Mariano Rivera pounds a case of Bud Light during the first seven innings of every game.
- Shane Spencer’s butterfly tattoo on his lower back.
- Paul O'Neill's closeted romantic relationship with a water cooler.
- The fan who jumped from the upper deck in 2005 was actually Carl Pavano.
- The collapsed beam in 1998 was actually Hideki Irabu.
- A-Rod’s “Misery”-like obsession with Bubba Crosby.
- Don Zimmer’s pre-game ritual of sacrificing a live chicken.
- David Wells’ secret peacekeeping mission to Rwanda.
- Torre almost ruined David Cone’s perfect game in 1998 by trying to bring in Tanyon Sturtze, before realizing Sturtze was on the White Sox.
- Luis Sojo’s pre-Yankees career as a stadium vendor.
- A-Rod’s “Deliverance”-like obsession with Ruben Sierra.
- Yankees "designated" Andy Fox "for assignment" after he was eaten by Cecil Fielder.
- Torre’s constant refusal to address Kenny Lofton’s complaints about playing time with anything besides the universal “jerk-off” motion.
- Clemens didn’t intentionally throw the bat at Piazza; he was just upset because he saw Tanyon Sturtze warming up in the bullpen. He was doubly upset because Sturtze was on the Devil Rays at the time.
- A-Rod’s jealousy of Jeffrey Maier.
- Hideki Matsui’s feud with Def Jam Records.
- Torre’s “green tea” was actually HGH.
Cubs Can Kiss Any Chance At World Championship Good Bye
The Chicago Cubs today announced that they traded for the Mariners Aaron Heilman. Heilman has been a New York Met the past few years so I have had the joy of watching him blow game after game after game in the bullpen and let me tell you something, he is awful. The fact the Cubs actually felt the need to trade for him is beyond me. He might be one of the worst bullpen pitchers in the majors and I am totally convinced that he has a 'cancer' like effect on a team.
Being a Philly fan I was extremely upset to see that the Mets finally had the brains to get rid of the scrub. I wish they would have kept him, since he has probably blown about 15 games a year for them over the past two season.
Well it looks like the Cubs championship drought will have to be extended another year anyway, or at least until they release him.
Being a Philly fan I was extremely upset to see that the Mets finally had the brains to get rid of the scrub. I wish they would have kept him, since he has probably blown about 15 games a year for them over the past two season.
Well it looks like the Cubs championship drought will have to be extended another year anyway, or at least until they release him.
Monday, January 26, 2009
New Zealand Man Buys US Intelligence On MP3 Player
Sydney Morning Herald
A New Zealand man has found confidential United States military files on an MP3 player he bought at an op shop in the US.
Chris Ogle, 29, from Whangarei, bought the player from an Oklahoma thrift shop for $NZ18 ($A14.50), and found the files when he hooked it up to his computer, TV One News reported on Monday night.
The 60 files on the player contained the names and personal details of American soldiers, including ones who served in Afghanistan and Iraq.
There was also information about equipment deployed to bases and a mission briefing.
"The more I look at it, the more I see and the less I think I should be," Ogle said.
Victoria University strategic studies director Peter Cozens said one of the first rules of military endeavour was to not give the opposition information that could compromise your position.
"This is just slack administrative procedures which are indeed a cause of embarrassment. It's the sort of thing which ought not really be in the public domain, he said.
Ogle said the player never worked as a music player and he would hand it over to the US Defence Department if asked.
Well this just about sums up the past couple years of military intel. Let's keep important files on a MP3 player and then sell it to a pawn shop in the middle of Oklahoma. This guy Ogle better make a pretty penny off of this, even though the military doesn't seem to care that he has this material. I guess no one fears the Kiwi's.
A New Zealand man has found confidential United States military files on an MP3 player he bought at an op shop in the US.
Chris Ogle, 29, from Whangarei, bought the player from an Oklahoma thrift shop for $NZ18 ($A14.50), and found the files when he hooked it up to his computer, TV One News reported on Monday night.
The 60 files on the player contained the names and personal details of American soldiers, including ones who served in Afghanistan and Iraq.
There was also information about equipment deployed to bases and a mission briefing.
"The more I look at it, the more I see and the less I think I should be," Ogle said.
Victoria University strategic studies director Peter Cozens said one of the first rules of military endeavour was to not give the opposition information that could compromise your position.
"This is just slack administrative procedures which are indeed a cause of embarrassment. It's the sort of thing which ought not really be in the public domain, he said.
Ogle said the player never worked as a music player and he would hand it over to the US Defence Department if asked.
Well this just about sums up the past couple years of military intel. Let's keep important files on a MP3 player and then sell it to a pawn shop in the middle of Oklahoma. This guy Ogle better make a pretty penny off of this, even though the military doesn't seem to care that he has this material. I guess no one fears the Kiwi's.
Reptile becomes a father, at 111
From BBC
A rare New Zealand reptile has become a father, possibly for the first time, at the age of 111.
The keepers of Henry, a tuatara, had thought he was past his prime - especially after showing no interest in females during 40 years in captivity.
But he mated with 80-year-old Mildred last July and 11 of the eggs she produced have now hatched.
Henry's keepers have put his newfound vigour down to a recent operation to remove a tumour from his bottom.
'Love story'
Henry arrived at Southland Museum in the South Island city of Invercargill in 1970 and, his keepers say, soon became overweight and idle.
I have done lots of eggs before but these are just special because they are Henry's
Lindsay Hazley
Museum curator
He was known for his foul temper and had a tendency to attack other tuatara - forcing the museum to keep him in solitary confinement for many years.
But since his operation, Museum tuatara curator Lindsay Hazley said he had had a "major personality transplant".
"I have done lots of eggs before but these are just special because they are Henry's," Mr Hazley told the Southland Times.
Tuatara, which are found only in New Zealand, are sometimes referred to as "living fossils".
They are the only surviving members of a family of species which walked the Earth with the dinosaurs more than 200 million years ago.
The museum now has about 70 of the rare creatures, and Mr Hazley is hopeful that Henry might provide more offspring in the future.
He lives with three female tuatara "in great harmony", said Mr Hazley, and described the hatching of the eggs as "the completion of a love story".
This little guy is still spreading his seed at 111 years old? That is pretty impressive. I mean I have a hard enough time trying to do that at the age of 25. Maybe it gets easier with age? But I would have to seduce a much younger woman at that age. I mean there aren't any 111 year old women giving birth. Could you image having sex with some who is about 80 years your junior? That would be a miracle, let alone getting her pregnant. It is official that this reptile is now a hero of mine and I will strive to match not only years on this earth but his sexual conquests as well.
A rare New Zealand reptile has become a father, possibly for the first time, at the age of 111.
The keepers of Henry, a tuatara, had thought he was past his prime - especially after showing no interest in females during 40 years in captivity.
But he mated with 80-year-old Mildred last July and 11 of the eggs she produced have now hatched.
Henry's keepers have put his newfound vigour down to a recent operation to remove a tumour from his bottom.
'Love story'
Henry arrived at Southland Museum in the South Island city of Invercargill in 1970 and, his keepers say, soon became overweight and idle.
I have done lots of eggs before but these are just special because they are Henry's
Lindsay Hazley
Museum curator
He was known for his foul temper and had a tendency to attack other tuatara - forcing the museum to keep him in solitary confinement for many years.
But since his operation, Museum tuatara curator Lindsay Hazley said he had had a "major personality transplant".
"I have done lots of eggs before but these are just special because they are Henry's," Mr Hazley told the Southland Times.
Tuatara, which are found only in New Zealand, are sometimes referred to as "living fossils".
They are the only surviving members of a family of species which walked the Earth with the dinosaurs more than 200 million years ago.
The museum now has about 70 of the rare creatures, and Mr Hazley is hopeful that Henry might provide more offspring in the future.
He lives with three female tuatara "in great harmony", said Mr Hazley, and described the hatching of the eggs as "the completion of a love story".
This little guy is still spreading his seed at 111 years old? That is pretty impressive. I mean I have a hard enough time trying to do that at the age of 25. Maybe it gets easier with age? But I would have to seduce a much younger woman at that age. I mean there aren't any 111 year old women giving birth. Could you image having sex with some who is about 80 years your junior? That would be a miracle, let alone getting her pregnant. It is official that this reptile is now a hero of mine and I will strive to match not only years on this earth but his sexual conquests as well.
Friday, January 23, 2009
I Hate The Fox Robot
There are only a few things that I really hate about football season. Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, the New York Giants, Mike Styp and the dumb ass robot on Fox. It is so annoying and it might be the my most hated thing about football season. I like that Conan shares my opinion.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
"Rheingold Cowboy" - Travis Mcgee
This is a very special video I am posting today. This video is the culmination of some very hard work done by yours truly, Joy Zaccaria and of course the writer and singer of this brilliant song, Travis Mcgee.
Rheingold Cowboy - a work of art.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Happy MLK Day...
One of the greatest speeches of all time. I am personally looking forward to hearing another one tomorrow.
Friday, January 16, 2009
New York Is Now Jealous Of Both Boston and Philly
Forget Boston, we have new city to hate
From NY Daily News
No matter where a New York fan turns these days, a vulgar scent of cheesesteak taints the atmosphere and distorts the schedule of sports events on our flat-screen televisions. Philadelphia is the new Boston, suddenly. Maybe not as prim and haughty, but every bit as dangerous and much, much sneakier.
The Phillies have leap-frogged and embarrassed the Mets for two straight Septembers, riding Jimmy Rollins' back-page boasts all the way to a championship. The Eagles knocked off the Giants twice at the Meadowlands this season, the second time decisively.
The Flyers are battling the Rangers and Devils atop the Atlantic Division. The Sixers are mediocre, at best, but that only means they will be jockeying with the Knicks for key draft position. No doubt the expansion Philadelphia franchise will win the MLS title before the Red Bulls.
And still, we hear the whining from down there. It is now winning whining, which is much worse than losing whining. We miss the jeering. Where is the jeering?
"Trashy people from either Philadelphia or the Southern region of New Jersey," is how Urbandictionary.com defines Eagles fans. "They claim they are the most loyal fans in the NFL. ... ONLY when their team is on the brink of a (soon to be a failure) Super Bowl Run. But as soon as their team loses, they disown their team and bash them to pieces."
The problem is, there has been no need for bashing anyone to pieces lately in Philly. There are only these big victories down there in what looks like a farmer's market filled with new stadiums. We were so busy worrying about Boston all these years, we failed to spot Ryan Howard and Donovan McNabb advancing from the south.
We should have seen this coming as far back as 1790, when Philadelphia stole our designation as nation's capital on a lark. After World War I, Philly politicians made a futile legislative and propaganda effort to divert steamship commerce from our ports, claiming we were overcrowded.
"The advantages of New York do not need to be advertised," The New York Times opined in 1918, about Philly's assault. "But not even New York is strong enough to be indifferent to diversion of trade by edict, and wrong notions, and facts which are not facts."
The sixth-biggest city in America was cunning then, and is still slyer now. The town which might have given Boo Radley his name has launched one stealth attack after another these past couple of years.
We search, but find no overt venom spewed toward New York, not like on the Boston airwaves. The Philly fan blogs are generally filled with straight analysis, a dash of pessimism and little braggadocio. Philadelphians want us to believe they are so down on themselves, on everything and everybody, they don't really have a specific grudge against New York.
"I don't think there's an overriding animus toward New York from Philadelphia," insists Bob Ford, a sports columnist for The Philadelphia Inquirer. "Philadelphians hate the whole world. North Philadelphia doesn't like South Philly , which doesn't like The Main Line, which doesn't think anyone else exists.
"Everyone hates Boston, because they're stuck up. We can't say New York is stuck up. Before the Phillies won, there wasn't a championship since 1983. There would have been great pleasure if the local teams were beating Tulsa for a title. And for sheer civic joy, the fans would have enjoyed it five times more if it had been Dallas instead of the Giants on Sunday."
So Philly refuses to recognize its own role as our new nemesis - which only makes the city that much more annoying.
Boston? Boston is so yesterday around here, and far too Yankee-centric. The Red Sox were a wild-card team last season, nothing more. They've lost Manny, the poster child for anti-pinstriped imagery.
Besides, the Yanks killed them in the offseason. Brad Penny for one year? That's not even trying.
The Patriots lost to the Jets in New England and didn't make the playoffs. The Bruins are in a different division. The Celtics are irrelevant to the Knicks or Nets at the moment, playing in their own little two-team league with the Lakers.
Philadelphia would love us to remain focused on Boston, to forget the increasing threat it presents on the athletic fields.
"We are sort of related," Ford insists. "We share New Jersey, a slow cousin we both have to look out for."
From NY Daily News
No matter where a New York fan turns these days, a vulgar scent of cheesesteak taints the atmosphere and distorts the schedule of sports events on our flat-screen televisions. Philadelphia is the new Boston, suddenly. Maybe not as prim and haughty, but every bit as dangerous and much, much sneakier.
The Phillies have leap-frogged and embarrassed the Mets for two straight Septembers, riding Jimmy Rollins' back-page boasts all the way to a championship. The Eagles knocked off the Giants twice at the Meadowlands this season, the second time decisively.
The Flyers are battling the Rangers and Devils atop the Atlantic Division. The Sixers are mediocre, at best, but that only means they will be jockeying with the Knicks for key draft position. No doubt the expansion Philadelphia franchise will win the MLS title before the Red Bulls.
And still, we hear the whining from down there. It is now winning whining, which is much worse than losing whining. We miss the jeering. Where is the jeering?
"Trashy people from either Philadelphia or the Southern region of New Jersey," is how Urbandictionary.com defines Eagles fans. "They claim they are the most loyal fans in the NFL. ... ONLY when their team is on the brink of a (soon to be a failure) Super Bowl Run. But as soon as their team loses, they disown their team and bash them to pieces."
The problem is, there has been no need for bashing anyone to pieces lately in Philly. There are only these big victories down there in what looks like a farmer's market filled with new stadiums. We were so busy worrying about Boston all these years, we failed to spot Ryan Howard and Donovan McNabb advancing from the south.
We should have seen this coming as far back as 1790, when Philadelphia stole our designation as nation's capital on a lark. After World War I, Philly politicians made a futile legislative and propaganda effort to divert steamship commerce from our ports, claiming we were overcrowded.
"The advantages of New York do not need to be advertised," The New York Times opined in 1918, about Philly's assault. "But not even New York is strong enough to be indifferent to diversion of trade by edict, and wrong notions, and facts which are not facts."
The sixth-biggest city in America was cunning then, and is still slyer now. The town which might have given Boo Radley his name has launched one stealth attack after another these past couple of years.
We search, but find no overt venom spewed toward New York, not like on the Boston airwaves. The Philly fan blogs are generally filled with straight analysis, a dash of pessimism and little braggadocio. Philadelphians want us to believe they are so down on themselves, on everything and everybody, they don't really have a specific grudge against New York.
"I don't think there's an overriding animus toward New York from Philadelphia," insists Bob Ford, a sports columnist for The Philadelphia Inquirer. "Philadelphians hate the whole world. North Philadelphia doesn't like South Philly , which doesn't like The Main Line, which doesn't think anyone else exists.
"Everyone hates Boston, because they're stuck up. We can't say New York is stuck up. Before the Phillies won, there wasn't a championship since 1983. There would have been great pleasure if the local teams were beating Tulsa for a title. And for sheer civic joy, the fans would have enjoyed it five times more if it had been Dallas instead of the Giants on Sunday."
So Philly refuses to recognize its own role as our new nemesis - which only makes the city that much more annoying.
Boston? Boston is so yesterday around here, and far too Yankee-centric. The Red Sox were a wild-card team last season, nothing more. They've lost Manny, the poster child for anti-pinstriped imagery.
Besides, the Yanks killed them in the offseason. Brad Penny for one year? That's not even trying.
The Patriots lost to the Jets in New England and didn't make the playoffs. The Bruins are in a different division. The Celtics are irrelevant to the Knicks or Nets at the moment, playing in their own little two-team league with the Lakers.
Philadelphia would love us to remain focused on Boston, to forget the increasing threat it presents on the athletic fields.
"We are sort of related," Ford insists. "We share New Jersey, a slow cousin we both have to look out for."
Thursday, January 15, 2009
In Case You Live Under A Rock - Plane Crashes In The Hudson
Plane crash lands in Hudson River, rescue effort under way
by The Star-Ledger Continuous News Desk
Thursday January 15, 2009, 4:37 PM
A US Airways plane has crashed into the Hudson River, sending passengers fleeing for safety in the frigid waters.
FAA officials have reported all passengers and crew were safely rescued from the partially submerged plane. New York City firefighters, federal transportation officials and an armada of boats responded within minutes of the incident. A government official said the plane struck a bird that disabled two engines.
One of the 148 passengers on the plane, Jeff Kolodajy 31, Norwalk, Conn., described hearing "a loud boom" and then, he said, "I saw fire."
"The plane just dropped about 100 feet," said Kolodajy, who was ferried to Pier 81 in New York. "It was real scary."
But, Kolodajy said, "when the plane landed, the boats were there in about three or four minutes to pick us up, and the water started to fill up rapidly."
The plane was submerged in the 41 degree waters up to the windows, and rescue crews had opened the door and were pulling passengers in yellow life vests from the plane. Several boats surrounded the plane, which appeared to be slowly sinking. In addition to the 148 passengers, five crew members were on board.
"I saw what appeared to be a tail fin of a plane sticking out of the water," said Erica Schietinger, whose office windows at Chelsea Piers look out over the Hudson. "All the boats have sort of circled the area. ... I can't tell what's what at this point."
The plane, which reportedly had 151 passengers on board, was attempting to turn around after reporting a mechanical problem, NBC 4 New York reported.
Televised reports showed ferry boats typically used to take passengers across the Hudson surrounding the airplane, which remained partially afloat. The pilot reported that he struck a flock of geese shortly after takeoff, NBC reported.
The flight was US Airways flight 1549, which took off at 3:26 p.m., headed for Charlotte, N.C. The Coast Guard said 60 people were in the water, NBC reported.
The NY Waterways ferry terminal at Port Imperial in Weehawken is closed until further notice, company officials said. Commuters who take the New Jersey-bound ferry will have to find another way home.
Christian Martin, who witnessed the crash from a New York office building, said the response by emergency personnel was swift after the plane hit the water.
"It came down very smoothly. If it had been an airport runway it looked just like that," Martin said. "It's drifted down the river. Touched down about 56th street. It's way further down now."
Ferry boats raced to help from both sides of the river, Martin said.
"In about four minutes, there was a ferry there and you could see people on the wings," Martin said. "I didn't exactly see people exiting because the ferry boat was in the way. There seemed to be plenty of time for people to get off the wings. Within 10 minutes there were three or four ferryboats, from the New Jersey and the New York side."
Kolodajy said the passengers around him on the plane seemed to be uninjured.
"Everyone's fine. There was a lady with her baby and she was trying to crawl over the seats. And I said, women and children first. She got off," said Kolodajy, who praised the effort by the pilot.
"I tell you what. It says a lot about people. He knew we were going down," Kolodajy said. "The engine blew out about three minutes, we circled around to the Hudson. Pilot said, look, we're going down. We looked at one another and said prayers."
When James Mohr, 21, opened the door of his apartment at around 3:45 p.m. in the Bronx, he heard a loud boom.
"It boomed more than once," Mohr said. "I saw fire spitting out of one of the engines. I want to say the right one, but I could be wrong."
The A320 is a widely used, medium-range passenger jet used around the world. More than 1,900 A320s are in service with 155 airlines.
The twin-engine jet, equipped with a "fly-by-wire" control system when it entered service in 1988. It typically can seat 150 passengers in a two-class cabin layout, and has a range of 3,000 nautical miles.
During its 20-year history there have been eight fatal Airbus crashes , the worst accident in 2007 when all 186 passengers and crew and 12 people on the ground died when a Tam Airlines jet ran off the runway at Sao Paulo- Congonhas Airport in Brazil.
Last year, a United Airbus A320 flying out of Newark Liberty International Airport experienced multiple avionics and electrical failures, including loss of all communications, shortly after taking off. The flight returned safety for a landing with no injuries to the 107 passengers and crew aboard the airplane and no damage to the jet.
If you witnessed the crash, call The Star-Ledger newsroom (800) 350-4169.
Family members may call (800) 679-8215 to check on their loved ones.
PICTURES HERE....
by The Star-Ledger Continuous News Desk
Thursday January 15, 2009, 4:37 PM
A US Airways plane has crashed into the Hudson River, sending passengers fleeing for safety in the frigid waters.
FAA officials have reported all passengers and crew were safely rescued from the partially submerged plane. New York City firefighters, federal transportation officials and an armada of boats responded within minutes of the incident. A government official said the plane struck a bird that disabled two engines.
One of the 148 passengers on the plane, Jeff Kolodajy 31, Norwalk, Conn., described hearing "a loud boom" and then, he said, "I saw fire.""The plane just dropped about 100 feet," said Kolodajy, who was ferried to Pier 81 in New York. "It was real scary."
But, Kolodajy said, "when the plane landed, the boats were there in about three or four minutes to pick us up, and the water started to fill up rapidly."
The plane was submerged in the 41 degree waters up to the windows, and rescue crews had opened the door and were pulling passengers in yellow life vests from the plane. Several boats surrounded the plane, which appeared to be slowly sinking. In addition to the 148 passengers, five crew members were on board.
"I saw what appeared to be a tail fin of a plane sticking out of the water," said Erica Schietinger, whose office windows at Chelsea Piers look out over the Hudson. "All the boats have sort of circled the area. ... I can't tell what's what at this point."
The plane, which reportedly had 151 passengers on board, was attempting to turn around after reporting a mechanical problem, NBC 4 New York reported.
Televised reports showed ferry boats typically used to take passengers across the Hudson surrounding the airplane, which remained partially afloat. The pilot reported that he struck a flock of geese shortly after takeoff, NBC reported.
The flight was US Airways flight 1549, which took off at 3:26 p.m., headed for Charlotte, N.C. The Coast Guard said 60 people were in the water, NBC reported.
The NY Waterways ferry terminal at Port Imperial in Weehawken is closed until further notice, company officials said. Commuters who take the New Jersey-bound ferry will have to find another way home.
Christian Martin, who witnessed the crash from a New York office building, said the response by emergency personnel was swift after the plane hit the water.
"It came down very smoothly. If it had been an airport runway it looked just like that," Martin said. "It's drifted down the river. Touched down about 56th street. It's way further down now."
Ferry boats raced to help from both sides of the river, Martin said.
"In about four minutes, there was a ferry there and you could see people on the wings," Martin said. "I didn't exactly see people exiting because the ferry boat was in the way. There seemed to be plenty of time for people to get off the wings. Within 10 minutes there were three or four ferryboats, from the New Jersey and the New York side."
Kolodajy said the passengers around him on the plane seemed to be uninjured.
"Everyone's fine. There was a lady with her baby and she was trying to crawl over the seats. And I said, women and children first. She got off," said Kolodajy, who praised the effort by the pilot.
"I tell you what. It says a lot about people. He knew we were going down," Kolodajy said. "The engine blew out about three minutes, we circled around to the Hudson. Pilot said, look, we're going down. We looked at one another and said prayers."
When James Mohr, 21, opened the door of his apartment at around 3:45 p.m. in the Bronx, he heard a loud boom.
"It boomed more than once," Mohr said. "I saw fire spitting out of one of the engines. I want to say the right one, but I could be wrong."
The A320 is a widely used, medium-range passenger jet used around the world. More than 1,900 A320s are in service with 155 airlines.
The twin-engine jet, equipped with a "fly-by-wire" control system when it entered service in 1988. It typically can seat 150 passengers in a two-class cabin layout, and has a range of 3,000 nautical miles.
During its 20-year history there have been eight fatal Airbus crashes , the worst accident in 2007 when all 186 passengers and crew and 12 people on the ground died when a Tam Airlines jet ran off the runway at Sao Paulo- Congonhas Airport in Brazil.
Last year, a United Airbus A320 flying out of Newark Liberty International Airport experienced multiple avionics and electrical failures, including loss of all communications, shortly after taking off. The flight returned safety for a landing with no injuries to the 107 passengers and crew aboard the airplane and no damage to the jet.
If you witnessed the crash, call The Star-Ledger newsroom (800) 350-4169.
Family members may call (800) 679-8215 to check on their loved ones.
PICTURES HERE....
Bring It Bitch - Battle of the Birds
Need I say more? Eagles win 24-17, by stopping the explosive Cardinal offense on the last drive of the game. The ad insult to injury by trading for Boldin in the off season. Philadelphia celebrates with two parades this year!
"You've Got A Great Ass"
I have never seen this movie, but by the looks of it, it might be worth a cheesy laugh or two. I love the fist pump towards the end of the clip. Who carries around a bladed frisbee? That might be the most ridiculous thing I have seen, I mean besides the, "You've got a great ass," comment.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
This might be the worst kids show ever created. How does this get past the "go fuck yourself" point in the production phase?
Rooster Has A Long Crow
This is pretty impressive. There are a lot of other ones that we could link to but this is the best one I think. Let me know what you think.
Australia Offers 'Best Job in World' On Paradise Island - Fox News
SYDNEY — Position: Island caretaker. Duties: Lazing around Australia's Great Barrier Reef for six months. Salary: $105,000.
Unemployed, take heart — the aforementioned job ad is for real. Billing it the "Best Job in the World," the tourism department in Australia's Queensland state on Tuesday said it was seeking one lucky person to spend half a year relaxing on Hamilton Island, part of the country's Whitsunday Islands, while promoting the island on a blog.
The "island caretaker" will be expected to stroll the white sands, soak up the sun, snorkel the reef, "maybe clean the pool" — and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.
The winner, who will stay rent-free in a multimillion-dollar three-bedroom beach home complete with pool and golf cart, must be an excellent communicator and be able to speak and write in English.
The job, according to the Daily Telegraph, seems too good to be true — work 12 hours a month for six months while carrying out such duties as feeding turtles, watching whales and writing a blog.
The Australia-based newspaper reported on its Web site that no academic qualifications are required for the job advertised in 18 countries. However, strong swimming skills and a love of snorkelling and scuba diving are a must.
The Daily Telegraph reported 850,000 people clicked on the site within the first 24 hours.
"They'll also have to talk to media from time to time about what they're doing so they can't be too shy and they'll have to love the sea, the sun, the outdoors," said acting state Premier Paul Lucas.
"The fact that they will be paid to explore the islands of the Great Barrier Reef, swim, snorkel and generally live the Queensland lifestyle makes this undoubtedly the best job in the world."
Lucas said the campaign was part of a drive to protect the state's 18 billion Australian dollar a year tourism industry during the tough economic climate caused by the global financial meltdown.
While the campaign has elements of some reality television shows, a candidate's looks will not be a prime requirement, Tourism Queensland chief executive Anthony Hayes told AFP.
"No, I don't think beautiful is what we want, I think charismatic is what we want," he said. "The reality is we are looking for a fantastic communicator.
"What we want this person to do is travel throughout the Great Barrier Reef and just try every experience, every adventure they can find and report back via blogs and video to tell the world why Queensland is a great place to come for a holiday."
Tourism Minister Desley Boyle said some people might question whether it was risky to let an unknown person become an unofficial tourism spokesperson for the state.
"I think the biggest risk will be that the successful candidate won't want to go home at the end of the six months," she said.
"This is a legitimate job which is open to anyone and everyone."
Applications are open until February 22. Eleven shortlisted candidates will be flown to Hamilton Island in early May for the final selection process and the six month contract will commence on July 1.
Job-seekers can apply at Islandreefjob.com (FoxNews)
Is this serious? Leave it to the Aussie's to come up with the greatest job on the face of the earth. I mean who doesn't want to just lay around all day and take care of an island? If you don't apply to this job you are an absolute moron....
Unemployed, take heart — the aforementioned job ad is for real. Billing it the "Best Job in the World," the tourism department in Australia's Queensland state on Tuesday said it was seeking one lucky person to spend half a year relaxing on Hamilton Island, part of the country's Whitsunday Islands, while promoting the island on a blog.
The "island caretaker" will be expected to stroll the white sands, soak up the sun, snorkel the reef, "maybe clean the pool" — and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.
The winner, who will stay rent-free in a multimillion-dollar three-bedroom beach home complete with pool and golf cart, must be an excellent communicator and be able to speak and write in English.The job, according to the Daily Telegraph, seems too good to be true — work 12 hours a month for six months while carrying out such duties as feeding turtles, watching whales and writing a blog.
The Australia-based newspaper reported on its Web site that no academic qualifications are required for the job advertised in 18 countries. However, strong swimming skills and a love of snorkelling and scuba diving are a must.
The Daily Telegraph reported 850,000 people clicked on the site within the first 24 hours.
"They'll also have to talk to media from time to time about what they're doing so they can't be too shy and they'll have to love the sea, the sun, the outdoors," said acting state Premier Paul Lucas.
"The fact that they will be paid to explore the islands of the Great Barrier Reef, swim, snorkel and generally live the Queensland lifestyle makes this undoubtedly the best job in the world."
Lucas said the campaign was part of a drive to protect the state's 18 billion Australian dollar a year tourism industry during the tough economic climate caused by the global financial meltdown.
While the campaign has elements of some reality television shows, a candidate's looks will not be a prime requirement, Tourism Queensland chief executive Anthony Hayes told AFP.
"No, I don't think beautiful is what we want, I think charismatic is what we want," he said. "The reality is we are looking for a fantastic communicator.
"What we want this person to do is travel throughout the Great Barrier Reef and just try every experience, every adventure they can find and report back via blogs and video to tell the world why Queensland is a great place to come for a holiday."
Tourism Minister Desley Boyle said some people might question whether it was risky to let an unknown person become an unofficial tourism spokesperson for the state.
"I think the biggest risk will be that the successful candidate won't want to go home at the end of the six months," she said.
"This is a legitimate job which is open to anyone and everyone."
Applications are open until February 22. Eleven shortlisted candidates will be flown to Hamilton Island in early May for the final selection process and the six month contract will commence on July 1.
Job-seekers can apply at Islandreefjob.com (FoxNews)
Is this serious? Leave it to the Aussie's to come up with the greatest job on the face of the earth. I mean who doesn't want to just lay around all day and take care of an island? If you don't apply to this job you are an absolute moron....
Is this how the cookie would crumble...(I ATE IT MY WAY)
Below is a link to post that I think is great. The Manning vs. Williams Oreo eating contest is all well and good, but aren't there any other athletes who would make this contest a little more exciting.
Click here to see the post and give a little love to my man Mike Sinatra...
Click here to see the post and give a little love to my man Mike Sinatra...
Funny Commercials
Funny Compilation - The most amazing bloopers are here
I am a big fan of advertising and funny commercials, which I guess makes sense since it is kinda what I do for a living, only I dont get to make funny things....
I found this video while looking around on the web this morning for some inspiration. My favorite is the one with the father giving his daughter money out of the car and gets pulled over for looking like he is trying to catch a BJ. Love it.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Mike Styp is Devastated!
The eagles just recently beat their hated rival, new York giants. This has really made my day. I have spent most of the past week hearing my roommate and longtime friend mike talk shit about how badly the giants were going to beat the eagles. Looks like I have the last laugh! The eagles played some great defense throughout the day and ended the giants season with a bang.
Sitting next to him was a great adventure today, with hats being thrown, annoying clapping and an abundance of yelling. It is rather amazing that one of us is not laying at the bottom of the pool just outside of Sinatras balcony window. Even though we are the beat of friends today we were hated enemies and I can say that I am happy this stressful time is over.
The only thing that makes all of this ok is that my eagles came out on top and are headed to the NFC championship. Mike I am sorry for your loss but at the same time extremely happy.
Sitting next to him was a great adventure today, with hats being thrown, annoying clapping and an abundance of yelling. It is rather amazing that one of us is not laying at the bottom of the pool just outside of Sinatras balcony window. Even though we are the beat of friends today we were hated enemies and I can say that I am happy this stressful time is over.
The only thing that makes all of this ok is that my eagles came out on top and are headed to the NFC championship. Mike I am sorry for your loss but at the same time extremely happy.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Slip N' Die?
These guy s have some serious balls to build something like this. I love the design and the idea. I already have ideas forming about what is possible from the deck at 90 UNO Madison.
The Force Is Real? Enter the Force Trainer
"May the force be with" could soon be more than a movie quote apparently. The Force Trainer, which is being introduced shortly comes with a headset that allows the user to use their own brainwaves to manipulate a sphere within a tower.
This might be the coolest toy to come out since Skip-It. I can move shit with my brain, are you serious? Apparently there are other games coming out like this as well, but I promise they will not be a successful as the Force Trainer.
I will be training with Yoda in no time. Found at Stumble Upon.
This might be the coolest toy to come out since Skip-It. I can move shit with my brain, are you serious? Apparently there are other games coming out like this as well, but I promise they will not be a successful as the Force Trainer. I will be training with Yoda in no time. Found at Stumble Upon.
Response: Who You Got
There you have it. Florida are National Champs with the unbeaten Utes coming in at 2nd. Is there no way they can play each other? I'll even take a backyard flag football game.
I will would like to say however, that I do feel I was correct with my statement that Percy Harvin was the difference in the game. Tim Tebow was his usual self and helped open lanes for Percy by getting his own running game going. I do think the better team won last night, even the Travis would have to disagree. (Travis was a mess last night, if you would like to send him something to cheer him up please feel free to do so)
Now we are all in the unfortunate spot of having to wait an entire year to have some more college football. I guess the NFL, college basketball, baseball and for this fan English Premier League will just have to suffice.
I will would like to say however, that I do feel I was correct with my statement that Percy Harvin was the difference in the game. Tim Tebow was his usual self and helped open lanes for Percy by getting his own running game going. I do think the better team won last night, even the Travis would have to disagree. (Travis was a mess last night, if you would like to send him something to cheer him up please feel free to do so)Now we are all in the unfortunate spot of having to wait an entire year to have some more college football. I guess the NFL, college basketball, baseball and for this fan English Premier League will just have to suffice.
Obama In New Spider Man Comic
Below is a link to a story done by BBC about Obama being in a new Spider Man comic book. I don't think JFK even reached that status!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7819832.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7819832.stm
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Who You Got? Florida vs. Oklahoma
Well tonight is the night that college football crowns a semi champ. Utah goes undefeated and doesn't even have a chance to become champion? I guess that is the way the system goes right now. I don't care if they were in a "softer" conference, they went undefeated during the year, how does that not land you a championship?
But enough about that, you can watch ESPN if you want to hear 800 people discuss how we need a playoff, but until that happens, this is all we have.
Tonight features the Florida Gators vs the Oklahoma Sooners, in a match-up of old school and new school football powerhouses. Both teams feature a spread type offense, Heisman winning quarterbacks and average defense (giving a slight edge hear to Florida because of overall speed).
The game should be high scoring, but with a full month off for each team, these games can sometimes be ugly. I am going with the gators tonight, purely based on the fact that they have Percy Harvin. Tebow and Bradford will play great as usual, but it is usually the "other" guy that needs to step up in these games. Oklahoma will be without DeMarco Murray, their major home run guy. Harvin is such an explosive player and can line up almost anywhere on the field. He is the difference tonight.
Florida 38-27. Who you got?
But enough about that, you can watch ESPN if you want to hear 800 people discuss how we need a playoff, but until that happens, this is all we have.
Tonight features the Florida Gators vs the Oklahoma Sooners, in a match-up of old school and new school football powerhouses. Both teams feature a spread type offense, Heisman winning quarterbacks and average defense (giving a slight edge hear to Florida because of overall speed). 
The game should be high scoring, but with a full month off for each team, these games can sometimes be ugly. I am going with the gators tonight, purely based on the fact that they have Percy Harvin. Tebow and Bradford will play great as usual, but it is usually the "other" guy that needs to step up in these games. Oklahoma will be without DeMarco Murray, their major home run guy. Harvin is such an explosive player and can line up almost anywhere on the field. He is the difference tonight.Florida 38-27. Who you got?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Skier Caught With Pants Down = Funny Story and Pitty Shrinkage
The tricks skiers can do on the snow these days are amazing, but one who ended up upside down and pantless on a ski-lift had no intention of ending up that way.
The skier and a child tried to get on a high-speed lift at Vail's Blue Sky Basin in Colorado. But since the chairlift's seat wasn't in the right position, the man partially fell through the seat, and was left dangling upside down. Somehow his pants fell down. The lift was stopped, and the man was not hurt.
Vail Resorts says the guy was "suspended for approximately seven minutes," according to The Smoking Gun.
The guy's pride might be damaged a bit. Fellow skiers snapped shots of his bare butt.
The skier and a child tried to get on a high-speed lift at Vail's Blue Sky Basin in Colorado. But since the chairlift's seat wasn't in the right position, the man partially fell through the seat, and was left dangling upside down. Somehow his pants fell down. The lift was stopped, and the man was not hurt.Vail Resorts says the guy was "suspended for approximately seven minutes," according to The Smoking Gun.
The guy's pride might be damaged a bit. Fellow skiers snapped shots of his bare butt.
You Say Tomato, I Say Tomei-Whoa!
Christmas came early for me this year--36 hours early, to be exact, when I entered the Landmark Sunshine Cinema to see The Wrestler and left two hours later shedding tears of joy. Yes, it’s a terrific film--heartbreaking, funny and well written, featuring incredibly striking symmetry between an aging exotic dancer and an over-the-hill wrestler, to say nothing of the art-vis-a-vis-life symmetry one could point out between the characters Ms. Tomei and co-star Mickey Rourke portray and the actors themselves. Most importantly, however, the 45 minutes or so that Marisa Tomei spent almost completely in the buff might be the best screenwriting ever put to paper.
Simple math shows why Marisa Tomei’s big splash in 1991 (My Cousin Vinny) remains a turning point in the lives of most men who today are in their early 30s, myself included. As a 13-year-old, I could not possibly be prepared for the sight of Mona Lisa Vito, she of the thick Brooklyn accent, st
epping out of Vinny Gambini’s convertible in that unforgettable, trashy tights/high heels combo years before Dennis Rodman would perfect the look. From the moment she snapped her gum and bitched about the lack of Chinese food in Alabama, I, like so many other teenage idealists out there, longed for a whiny, trashy woman to call my own.
As an aside, let this be a lesson for all you whipper-snappers out there: be careful what you wish for. For as I have learned, not all whiny, trashy women have the charm of Ms. Vito. If you think you can just take a trip to Flatbush with a $50 bill and a bag of Popeye’s and meet the woman of your dreams, think again. It takes several trips. Trial and error is a dangerous game when your emotions are the proverbial chips. But thanks to years of counseling and drinking, I’ve learned from my errors and am not afraid to say so. Have I made mistakes? Of course. Do I have any regrets? A few, sure. But deep down, would I change any of it? Yes. Almost all of it, actually.
Until recently, that is (hi sweetie).
You might wonder just exactly who the “sweetie” is that I’m referring to. That would be 44-year-old Marisa Tomei, coming off the performance of a lifetime in...The Wrestler. As one can imagine, seeing my biggest childhood crush this side of Joan Rivers in a g-string was something I never thought would happen. But better late than never, I’m happy to say. Better then than now, you might ask? Strangely, no, and most likely better now than later, or never, and better everything than nothing at all. Because that’s what you get in The Wrestler: everything. Now. And later on DVD.
I understand Miz Tomei laid her angelic figure bare in a critically acclaimed movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman last year, but none of my friends had the courtesy to notify me at the time. I can’t say I blame them; had I known, I would have hoarded all copies of the movie and kept them for myself, out of fear that too much viewing would deteriorate the content, much like an acetate disc in the olden days of phonographs and Indians.
“Whoa, Travis!” you’re saying. “No offense to the over-40 crowd, but at 44, wouldn’t Marisa’s cadaver be riddled with cobwebs and asbestos?” Well, here’s something else I didn’t know: nipple rings and back tattoos have anti-aging benefits. So we’re getting Marisa Tomei, gyrating with great prejudice, clad in nipple rings and some huge tattoo of something on her back. I think it might be a dragon, but every time it’s shown in the movie my eyes tend to—ahem—wander…
…(to Mickey Rourke’s vulnerable eyes)...
Christmas is over, but treat yourself in the New Year and see The Wrestler. It’s everything I was hoping for when I was 13, but had it happened then, I probably would have exhausted the world’s Kleenex supply.
Simple math shows why Marisa Tomei’s big splash in 1991 (My Cousin Vinny) remains a turning point in the lives of most men who today are in their early 30s, myself included. As a 13-year-old, I could not possibly be prepared for the sight of Mona Lisa Vito, she of the thick Brooklyn accent, st
epping out of Vinny Gambini’s convertible in that unforgettable, trashy tights/high heels combo years before Dennis Rodman would perfect the look. From the moment she snapped her gum and bitched about the lack of Chinese food in Alabama, I, like so many other teenage idealists out there, longed for a whiny, trashy woman to call my own.As an aside, let this be a lesson for all you whipper-snappers out there: be careful what you wish for. For as I have learned, not all whiny, trashy women have the charm of Ms. Vito. If you think you can just take a trip to Flatbush with a $50 bill and a bag of Popeye’s and meet the woman of your dreams, think again. It takes several trips. Trial and error is a dangerous game when your emotions are the proverbial chips. But thanks to years of counseling and drinking, I’ve learned from my errors and am not afraid to say so. Have I made mistakes? Of course. Do I have any regrets? A few, sure. But deep down, would I change any of it? Yes. Almost all of it, actually.
Until recently, that is (hi sweetie).
You might wonder just exactly who the “sweetie” is that I’m referring to. That would be 44-year-old Marisa Tomei, coming off the performance of a lifetime in...The Wrestler. As one can imagine, seeing my biggest childhood crush this side of Joan Rivers in a g-string was something I never thought would happen. But better late than never, I’m happy to say. Better then than now, you might ask? Strangely, no, and most likely better now than later, or never, and better everything than nothing at all. Because that’s what you get in The Wrestler: everything. Now. And later on DVD.
I understand Miz Tomei laid her angelic figure bare in a critically acclaimed movie with Philip Seymour Hoffman last year, but none of my friends had the courtesy to notify me at the time. I can’t say I blame them; had I known, I would have hoarded all copies of the movie and kept them for myself, out of fear that too much viewing would deteriorate the content, much like an acetate disc in the olden days of phonographs and Indians.
“Whoa, Travis!” you’re saying. “No offense to the over-40 crowd, but at 44, wouldn’t Marisa’s cadaver be riddled with cobwebs and asbestos?” Well, here’s something else I didn’t know: nipple rings and back tattoos have anti-aging benefits. So we’re getting Marisa Tomei, gyrating with great prejudice, clad in nipple rings and some huge tattoo of something on her back. I think it might be a dragon, but every time it’s shown in the movie my eyes tend to—ahem—wander…
…(to Mickey Rourke’s vulnerable eyes)...
Christmas is over, but treat yourself in the New Year and see The Wrestler. It’s everything I was hoping for when I was 13, but had it happened then, I probably would have exhausted the world’s Kleenex supply.
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